Love & Sex

The secrets of a long relationship

This is how you last 22 years

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This image illustrates the balance between being best friends and lovers, which is essential for a relationship that has lasted for 22 years. The image captures important "secrets" from the article, such as the importance of being able to laugh really hard together and seeking physical closeness. It shows the tenderness needed to keep the spark alive, even during everyday moments.

22 years together and I still run to the phone when I see he's calling. Or we call each other at the same time, making it just impossible to talk to each other. I don't know anyone with whom I can be so, make-up free and naked, as I am with him, without him being just my best friend, but also my lover. How do we do it? By always trying your best, despite those make-up free moments. Listening, bringing that cup of tea, sometimes canceling that sports appointment because you know he wants to walk through the woods with you. Hanging around his neck in the kitchen and, just while the pasta is simmering, softly slow dancing in the kitchen.

I asked on Instagram: what are your secrets for a long and happy relationship? A surprisingly large number of responses came in. I'm sharing them with you.

  • Just sitting somewhere together but not having to talk.
  • Or rather: gossiping after an evening in a large group and agreeing on the same things.
  • Cooking together.
  • Never leave without a kiss.
  • French kissing (haha, this one came from a very good friend).
  • Emigrating together once (this one didn't come from me, but living a few months in Rome has brought us a lot).
  • Leaning against each other on the couch.
  • Putting each other on a pedestal.
  • Keeping interest in each other (even after 45 years of marriage).
  • Accepting that it’s not always fun.
  • Lots of kissing.
  • Being able to laugh really hard together. (people who laugh often, live longer says science)
  • Teasing each other.
  • Never go to bed angry.
  • Always go to bed and wake up at the same time.
  • Always kiss.
  • Never leave with a fight.
  • Poor hearing and poor memory (the tip from someone's grandfather).
  • Occasionally putting a small gift under someone's pillow.
  • Also mentioning what someone has done very well instead of focusing on that one little flaw.
  • Always give a kiss and say goodbye, even if it's just for a walk with the dogs.
  • Always look forward to the other's return home.
  • Always keep kissing each other (when leaving, coming home, everything).
  • Give and take.
  • Lingering together after dinner.

And then my last tip, which I find beautiful in life: waving goodbye to the other until they are out of sight.