Love & Sex

The ultimate checklist: this is how you know for sure that an open relationship is right for you

By Tessa Heinhuis | #!31Wed, 02 Oct 2024 19:00:10 +0200+02:001031#31Wed, 02 Oct 2024 19:00:10 +0200+02:00-7Europe/Amsterdam3131Europe/Amsterdam202431 02pm31pm-31Wed, 02 Oct 2024 19:00:10 +0200+02:007Europe/Amsterdam3131Europe/Amsterdam2024312024Wed, 02 Oct 2024 19:00:10 +02000070010pmWednesday=9#!31Wed, 02 Oct 2024 19:00:10 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam10#10-02-2024#!31Wed, 02 Oct 2024 19:00:10 +0200+02:001031#/31Wed, 02 Oct 2024 19:00:10 +0200+02:00-7Europe/Amsterdam3131Europe/Amsterdam202431#!31Wed, 02 Oct 2024 19:00:10 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam10#

Are you settled and generally happy in love, but feel that something is missing? But can't quite explain to your partner what that is? Maybe you both would be happier with an open relationship. Totally of this time, you know.

Because monogamy is best a thing. Staying with that one person for your whole life, always having sex with that one person... Maybe a bit boring? Time to spice it up? An open relationship has many advantages, because you decide together that you can go on an adventure. You can experiment with others, but you still stay together, for that safe base. How do you know for sure that an open relationship is something for you? Well, think about this.

1. Well, there must be interest in others. If there isn't, then it doesn't have to happen. Simple.

2. But furthermore, you shouldn't be too jealous. You have to allow each other and also be able to accept if the other actually has sex with someone else. There shouldn't be any fuss about that.

3. And agreements must be able to be made. For example, that sex with someone is okay once, but preferably not too often with the same person. And also no messages or that kind of stuff, because then it becomes more affairs instead of sexual adventures.

4. You must be able to let each other be free and also want to be free, so. Your base must therefore be very strong: you are sure that you will stay together forever as true loves. But you just want to experience more between the sheets. That’s it. That base must be there.

5. And you must be able to be casual about it towards others. Because there is talk and gossip about open relationships, of course. Keep it casual for everyone around you – or especially say nothing about it, certainly not at the beginning. Your rules, your life. That’s nobody's business.

6. Lastly: still invest in your relationship. Still go on dates together, keep having sex with each other, don’t forget each other. Because if all that disappears... There’s very little left to come home for.

Just keep it to yourselves, because in the end, you determine what works and what doesn't. And you can always give it a chance for a few months, to then decide that it’s nothing, right? Not a disaster. But always focus on that love for each other, don’t lose sight of each other. Because then you might as well be single...