This glimpse into the world of swingers was an eye-opener

Call me prudish, but for me an open relationship is really not an option. Just the idea that you have to allow your loved one to be with someone else, and that sometimes you even see it happen right in front of your eyes... No, I have a bit too much Sicilian temperament to just let that go. Probably that's why I was so curious about the NPO3 documentary ‘Together Cheating?’. In it, they follow the lives of 3 couples who all have some form of open relationship, or swing together as you might call it better. To be completely honest: I came for the disaster tourism. I expected mainly a lot of learning harnesses and strange people, and people who are not happy in their relationships. Because why would you want this otherwise?

In the documentary, we see three couples of different ages: a fairly young couple, a couple in their 40s, and a couple in their 60s. All three are in a different phase of their exploration, which they also carry out in different ways. The young couple, for example, goes on a swingers holiday in Sicily. I had no idea that such things existed, let alone that I expected a whole hotel on the island dedicated to facilitating vacations for naked groups diving into bed together. The 40+ couple has their own club where they organize swinger parties, and the older couple is still figuring out what they feel comfortable with. The woman is still a bit timid and reserved, but she is funny enough the one who suggested to her husband to give swinging a chance. It becomes clear to me that swinger parties are no longer the ‘basket of watches and then grabbing who you dive into bed with’ parties.

As soon as the young couple arrives in Sicily, they go to a beautiful spot where they enjoy the view of the sea. And this is exactly the moment the guy has been waiting for: because what could be a more beautiful moment for a proposal than arriving at a swingers holiday and then being able to celebrate your engagement by having sex with someone else? I had envisioned it a bit differently, but they are both very happy with it and that's what it's all about. That is actually the moral of this documentary. There is talk about boundaries (such as both not having anal sex, if you do something with someone else your loved one must be in the same room, if the other person at any moment no longer feels comfortable, stop), and it also becomes clear to me that these couples are actually very happy with each other. They see it as a nice addition to the relationship, but also emphasize that you should not start this if you are not happy together. I realize that I was wrong about my prejudices; I am very happy for them that they are so satisfied in this form of their relationship. And yet I remain very convinced: it will never be something for me.

Image credits: BNNVARA