With the 3-6-9 rule, you can be sure if there is a future in your relationship

Everything is fast these days, and that also applies to dating. Like a true Max Verstappen, we swipe our way through all the dating apps. But getting to know someone well takes time, of course. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Selina Matthews, you need at least a year to really determine if there is a future in your relationship. And with the 3-6-9 rule, that becomes a lot easier.

The three phases

The ‘rule’ actually works very simply: every new relationship must go through three phases to determine whether a future together is realistic. During that time, you will experience all sorts of ups and downs that will tell you exactly whether you fit together or not. I will walk you through the different phases.

1. The honeymoon phase
This may sound like you are jumping in headfirst or almost running. But actually, this phase is about the first three months of a relationship. The time when everything is still new and exciting, and there are no clouds on the horizon. You go on many dates and get to know each other in every possible way. There may be a discussion here and there, but these do not dominate yet, and you mainly dream about everything that is yet to come.

2. The conflict phase
You can actually divide this phase into two parts. Between three and six months, the first little storm clouds start to form. The rose-colored glasses slowly come off, and you will now also discover each other's lesser sides. The first small arguments can put your relationship to the test. In months six to nine, this will all go a step further, with big arguments and perhaps even more irritations about certain traits. That oh-so-carefree honeymoon phase suddenly seems very far away.

3. The decision phase
If you have survived the conflict phase, it is time to make a choice. Does your future look bright, or were there too many arguments that have damaged things a bit too much? You should definitely take your time for this decision. You want to be sure that you are making the best choice for you and your future. And as you can see, all together, you need about a year for that.

But, why?

The 3-6-9 rule prevents you from diving too quickly into a relationship that might fall apart after just a few months. On the other hand, it also ensures that you do not linger too long in something that ultimately has no future. This saves both of you a lot of time, energy, and emotion. You can actually see it as a kind of guideline; you know a bit what to expect and that you don’t have to sound the alarm immediately if things aren’t going so well for a while. This way, you give your relationship a fair chance and you can be sure that you will make the right choice.. Source: The Every Girl, image: nobody wants this.

According to psychologist Dr. Selina Matthews, you need a year to know if there is a future in your relationship. With the 3-6-9 rule, that becomes much easier…