Banksying is the new dating trend that you would rather skip

With a dating trend called Banksying, you might think of something positive. Banksy creates beautiful art, so this hype will surely make your relationship a bit more beautiful, right? Well, not exactly. Banksying is quite toxic. It resembles ghosting a bit, but it's just a bit more thought-out and sly. We’d like to spare you a huge heartbreak, so here are all the ins and outs about the new trend; because you really should avoid this one.

This is what we mean by Banksying

So Banksying is not something to be cheerful about, but it is named after the artist for a reason. Banksy is known for preparing his projects in secret and then creating them at night. The next morning, the artwork suddenly appears, without anyone expecting it. The dating trend works similarly; only now you are not surprised by a mural, but by a breakup. While you think everything is going fine, your partner has been quietly distancing themselves for weeks, or even months. This way, the end feels less intense for them. Meanwhile, you have no idea and are caught off guard when your partner puts an end to it, which makes it extra painful.

Why someone chooses Banksying

Banksying is quite a nasty action. You are kept on a string for a while, only to then receive a huge blow. Now we all wonder: why would someone do something like this? Actually, the reason is not really surprising. Difficult conversations are never fun and you want to avoid them as much as possible; and that also applies to a breakup. Thanks to social media and all the dating apps, it feels like there are still plenty of other dating options. Fighting for your relationship seems less necessary, which makes the step towards trends like Banksying smaller. Being open and honest about your feelings remains a tricky thing, especially when it threatens to become uncomfortable. And if it can be avoided, we keep that far out of the way.

Can AI sabotage your love life?

AI is everywhere these days. And while it’s fun to transform yourself into a digital avatar , it can also work against you; for example, in your love life. AI is often used in Banksying. Partners who work towards a breakup this way ask ChatGPT for help on how to approach it. They receive advice like: make sure to gradually reduce the time you spend together, keep conversations superficial, and definitely don’t go deep. According to Chat, you should slowly phase it out to avoid unnecessary cruelty. But is Banksying really the best tactic?

Recognize the signs of Banksying

What makes Banksying so painful is that you often don’t see the breakup coming at all. Yet there are a few things to watch for that tell you there are storm clouds hanging over your relationship. For that, you should especially remember those pieces of advice from Chat. For example, do you notice that your partner is becoming increasingly distant emotionally and no longer wants to talk about your future together? Then this might be a case of Banksy. It can also be that the other person is seeking less physical closeness, while that used to happen. If you dare to express your doubts, there’s a good chance you won’t get any wiser. Your partner will likely give exaggeratedly positive answers or remain very vague. The best thing you can do is to keep communicating as well as possible; it doesn’t have to be Banksying right away.

How to handle a Banksy breakup

Is there suddenly a Banksy breakup? Then you probably feel confused and hurt. Those feelings are completely normal and you should definitely not suppress them. It’s important to give yourself the space and time to process everything; in a way that feels good for you. Maybe you write in a journal or vent to a friend. It can also help to create a sense of closure for yourself; due to the unexpected ending, you might miss that. Focus especially on yourself. Whether that means throwing yourself into a hobby or completely swearing off dating for now, as long as it gives you rest something. You can still ask your ex for further explanation, but don’t feel obligated. More ambiguity or vague answers won’t do you any good either. Closure also means realizing that you deserve better. The right person will not choose Banksying.

Source: The Every Girl, Psychology Today