Forget love language: stress language is even more important in a relationship

We have already talked about the love language in detail: it is the way you prefer to show the other person that you care about them. Some do this in the form of quality time, while others have more need for physical touch.

Understanding each other's love language can certainly contribute to a healthy relationship, but we all know that the biggest challenge lies in stressful situations. And that is precisely why it is important to understand your partner's stress language. According to Chantal Donnelly, therapist, stress expert, and author of ‘Settled: How to Find Calm in a Stress-Inducing World', there are five types of stress, and everyone belongs to a certain type. Curious about which category you or your partner falls into? Here they are.

The Denier
There is a difference between staying positive and completely refusing to see the problem. The latter is the case with the denier. They become overly optimistic and suppress negative emotions. In their eyes, the problem simply does not exist. A good way to deal with this as a partner is to remain patient. Break the problem down into pieces so that it is manageable for them to tackle it.

The Numbed
The name says it all: this person prefers to numb themselves to avoid confronting the problem. They often do this through distraction and use coping strategies such as overworking, binge-watching series, gaming, alcohol, or even drugs. Only in this way can they escape the problem. As a partner, it will not be easy to break such a habit. What you can do is to find a different hobby or activity together that is good for the mind, in order to break the bad habit(s).

The Exploder
As soon as an exploder feels stress, you better stay far away. People with this stress language become quickly irritated and angry. They criticize, often blame someone else (their partner), and prefer to storm off in the middle of a conversation if they are not pleased. If your partner is in such a mood, it is best not to engage in their anger. Do not interrupt them, and give them space to express their feelings. But always keep setting your boundaries.

The Imploder
In contrast to the exploder, something completely different happens with the imploder: this person becomes particularly quiet. They prefer to shut themselves off and do everything to avoid it. However, they are constantly preoccupied with it in their minds, causing emotions to be bottled up. The only thing you can do with an imploder is to give them space. Indicate that you are there, but show absolutely no coercive behavior. That will only push them further away.

The Fixer
With a fixer, everything must be fixed immediately. Very simple. They go into a sort of action mode and want to solve the problem right away. You would think this is good, that proactive attitude. But it is not always. A fixer tends to take on other people's problems, which is of course not right. It is therefore important to explain to someone with this stress language that not everything can and needs to be solved. Suggest that they delegate some tasks to someone else, or better yet, just let them go if possible.

Source: Huffpost.com
Image: Emily in Paris