Dank God het is vrijdag Marion Pauw
Unimaginable grief and the happiness that new life brings, plus the birth of a book – it all happened to Marion Pauw in one week. Yesterday she celebrated, despite everything – her dearly beloved sister passed away from a fall during a walk – the light, life, friendship, and a new book that she of course dedicated to her indomitable sister Lieske.
Dear Marion, from the farewell ceremony for your sister to holding your bonus grandchild in your arms and that wonderful lunch in honor of your book You are the light. It’s Friday, five o’clock. I imagine you taking a deep breath and pouring yourself a glass of wine.
I keep thinking of that line from a song in the musical Hamilton, It’s Quiet Uptown, which sings about the death of his son. The line “They are going through the unimaginable” kept ringing in my head as I thought of you and what happened to your sister and her husband. I know you struggled with that new book, the interviews that had already been done, the launch, and that far too great sorrow.
How did you manage to stay upright?
‘By staying open and not resisting whatever happens. Just go with the flow. With the grief, with joy, and celebrate what there is to celebrate. Stress arises when you desperately try to change things you can’t do anything about.’
You recently posted a photo of your dog, who comfortingly rests her head on your foot. I thought of one of your books where a girl also develops such a special relationship with a dog – what was that again?
‘Bird Island.’
I immediately started your book after that lovely lunch, which I was also allowed to attend, and – as always with everything you write – you had me hooked right away. I turned off the TV and started reading. Not many people can achieve that, you know. How did the idea for this book come about?
‘The idea came about when I went back to Tasmania two years ago and saw my old babysitter again. I hadn’t seen her for 45 years, but my body recognized her immediately.’
The main character goes to Tasmania, where you also partly grew up. Did you relive your roots again?
‘Absolutely. I recognized the craziest things. But it was especially the colors, the scents, and the energy.
Back to this column: it’s Friday at 5 PM. Who are you with, what are you wearing, what’s in your glass, and how does the evening unfold? Suppose earthly matters like money, time difference, flight shame, and even the finiteness of life don’t matter: who are you with, where are you all going? Do you start in Spain, then swing by the Noordermarkt for an apple pie, and end with a dive somewhere in Australia?
‘It’s Friday at 5 PM. I’m with my husband Chris, my daughter Nadja, her husband Dylan, my son Jiri, my bonus daughter Fleur, her boyfriend, and their baby, and bonus son Joost with his girlfriend at our place on the mountain in Spain. We’re all working on a puzzle together. Even Chris, who hates puzzles, is helping enthusiastically, haha. Nadja has cooked wonderfully, because she can, and we’re enjoying a long dinner.’
The next morning we go swimming with manta rays at the Komodo Islands. Still in the same company. And now that we’re enjoying the water, we’re also going swimming with whales at the Sunshine Coast. Just because we can.
After that, Chris and I will have an extensive dinner with all our friends and then dance to one of my favorite DJs: Parra for Cuva, Colyn, or Bonobo, I have a few more. Ideally, everyone is also dressed as a rabbit or something. We have an epic night that goes on until the morning.
The next morning we have no hangover at all, and I first want to do some yoga with my girlfriends at a luxury yoga resort in the jungle of Costa Rica. A massage also sounds amazing.
After that, I want to have coffee with my sister Lieske. I would like to tell her that I love her very much and just enjoy the quirky, stubborn person she was. We would surely eat some delicious pastries on beautiful dishes, because she loved that kind of thing.
Reading a book by the pool under the shade of a large tree is the next thing I want to do. I am currently reading All the Way to the River by Elizabeth Gilbert.
After that, I would gather Nadja and Jiri and take them on a beautiful hike through the mountains. We would make a campfire, enjoy food made by Nadja, sorry Nad, your food is just my favorite, and enjoy the view. After that, I would fall asleep comfortably against Chris’ back. When he’s there, I sleep the best, and I always enjoy those last few moments before I drift off to dreamland.
Does Sunday look different from Saturday for you?
‘I don’t really care. I work for myself, so I can organize every day as I want.’
A writer undoubtedly has a stack of books waiting to be read.
What I’m very curious about: do you still read your own books sometimes? Or is it like with me and a magazine: once printed, I don’t look at it anymore, afraid of discovering a mistake or something I would have preferred to see differently?
‘I sometimes pick them up and read random passages. And indeed, I always discover something I want to improve.’
Are you a podcast person, and if so, which ones do you enjoy listening to?
The Saar podcast, We’re Not Kidding, Diary of a CEO.
Is there already a new project in the pipeline, or are you going to take some time to decompress and bounce back in the coming weeks?
‘Mainly just to completely rest.’
