Hospitating: The Best Tips, Do’s & Don’ts
Hospiteren: it sounds like a medical procedure – I know – but for students, it’s actually just an evening where you have to sell yourself as the perfect housemate. And that… can be quite exciting. But believe me: with the right preparation, a good dose of self-mockery, and a cup of tea (or a Steltz) behind your teeth, you’ll get through that evening just fine. In fact: it can even be quite fun and cozy. Personally, I never had much trouble with hospiteren and secretly always found it quite enjoyable. That’s why I’m happy to share my golden tips with you.
What is hospiteren actually?
When you go hospiteren, a house opens itself up for new residents. Often, a room has become available and they are looking for someone to move in. The house usually organizes one or two viewing evenings where different people are invited to come and see the house – and of course, the oh-so-desired room.
The vibe? Think: cheap wine, a mix of IKEA furniture, and empty beer crates as a coffee table. You are invited to get to know the current residents of the student house, so they can determine who fits best in their house. Sometimes with three people, sometimes with twenty at once. Cozy? Yes, often. Intense? Always. By the way, you can read more about the corps here.
Tip 1: Prepare yourself (but don’t make a script)
No, you don’t need to prepare a whole TED Talk about your personality. But thinking about what you want to say really helps. What kind of housemate are you? Do you like cooking together or prefer quiet evenings in your room? Can you handle dishes that sit for a few days? And do you prefer a beer (yes, drink) or would you rather have cola at a party? Sober at a party? Here’s how you do it. Be prepared, but keep it spontaneous. And don’t forget: you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be yourself – but maybe just a bit more fun. Oh, and don’t lie about your personality, because believe me, people can see through that. Just be… yeah… yourself.
Tip 2: Arrive on time, but fashionably casual
Timing is key. Arriving five to ten minutes early is perfect – and then just hope you’re not the first one. Oh, are you actually the first one at the door? That’s not a problem at all! That means they can get to know you first. Also, know when the evening roughly ends; if you have to go somewhere else that evening, let them know. And your outfit? Casual chic. Think: well-groomed, fresh, and a look you feel good in. No ball gown, so hopefully you could figure that out yourself. For the girls: a clean girl makeup look is definitely a go. Don’t go for one of these looks.
Tip 3: Show yourself (but don’t overdo it)
You don’t have to be the clown of the evening, but showing a bit of personality is the point. Share something about yourself, ask questions, laugh occasionally – and stay far away from rehearsed phrases like “I’m a real people person” (ugh, cringe). Talk about your favorite food that you can cook or that one blunder you made at work. Keep it a bit in the here and now: for example, tell where you’re going out tomorrow or what you experienced last week.
Tip 4: Ask, listen, and respond
Hospiteren is not just about telling who you are. It’s also important that you see if you feel comfortable in this house. Ask questions: do you have house evenings? Is there a cleaning schedule? Does anyone of you play sports? How often are there parties and is it customary for everyone to drink then? Listen carefully to the answers and see if it fits you. You are choosing them too. And how nice is it (also for the house) to find out that you think alike about many things?
The do’s and don’ts during hospiteren
Okay last but not least, let’s summarize everything. What should you do – and what especially not?
Do’s: Be sincere. Really, no one benefits from acting. Show who you are and what you’re looking for. Also, make sure to ask questions; this shows that you’re interested and you can check if the house suits you. Smile, show enthusiasm, and be a bit flexible – houses love housemates who think along and don’t make a fuss about everything.
Don’ts:Talking negatively about your old housemates – or talking negatively about people in general? Nope. That only radiates drama. Also, don’t pull out your phone (unless there’s a real emergency). And be careful not to be too present. Of course, you want to stand out, but there’s a fine line between spontaneous and… well, annoying. Finally: don’t lie to seem cooler. You won’t be able to keep that up for long, and a good connection always comes from honesty.
What do you need to arrange before moving in? You can check that here.
