Is the ‘Princess Treatment’ TikTok trend really that innocent?

Great chance you've seen these kinds of videos on TikTok: women who put their partners to the test about what the bare minimum is in a relationship and what a romantic exception, or princess treatment, is. Often, these are innocent videos where a playful way is used to test how romantic a partner actually is, but this trend also has a somewhat darker side according to experts.

This is how the Princess Treatment trend works

For those who haven't seen these videos on the For You Page, we'll briefly explain the trend. The concept is actually simple: women present their partner with a new statement each time and ask the same question: is this the bare minimum, and thus the least you can expect from someone else in a relationship, or is it really pampering and can we call it princess treatment? Examples of statements include paying for your appointment at the nail salon or ensuring that a new bouquet of flowers is on the table every week. The division of household tasks such as cooking or grocery shopping is also discussed with this trend. In most videos, a game is made out of it. If someone answers a statement incorrectly according to their partner, their head is pushed into a bowl of ice water. Most videos are not too serious; women mainly try to encourage their partner to do something romantic more often. However, experts are less enthusiastic: according to them, the trend can also harm you. relation also harm you.

Why the Princess Treatment can throw your relationship off balance

According to dating coach Sabrina Zohar, this trend can cause your relationship to become unbalanced. The basis of the ‘princess treatment’ is that one partner is very focused on what the other wants, while the opposite is not done. “It creates a dynamic where one partner constantly gives and the other constantly receives. That is not sustainable, and more importantly, it is not really satisfying for both partners.” That your loved one does something sweet once and you enjoy it without doing anything in return is not immediately a problem; it becomes an issue when this is always the case. And that can happen if large romantic gestures suddenly become seen as a minimal requirement in a relationship, leading you to expect more and more from your partner.

This is how the Princess Treatment can hinder your personal development

Because (especially) women with this trend increasingly place tasks on their partner, they often unconsciously hinder their own personal growth. Those who rely on princess treatment expect, according to Zohar, that the other will ‘save’ them in difficult situations. Meanwhile, they are often perfectly capable of paying for that manicure themselves or taking care of dinner after a busy workday. It can be a comforting thought that you can standardly delegate some tasks so you don't get overwhelmed, but it also prevents you from learning how to tackle that long to-do list yourself.

Unrealistic expectations due to Princess Treatment

Anyone who watches a few ‘princess treatment’ videos will notice that the statements sometimes go a bit far. Can you really expect your partner to always pay for your expensive dinners or beauty treatments? According to relationship expert Genesis Games, that is not the case, but this trend does create unrealistic ideas that can hinder relationships. “I worry that young men might not even take their chance because they don't feel worthy if they can't afford an expensive first date. And I worry that young women overlook partners who could really suit them because their expectations have risen far above reality.” Through this trend, we forget that love can also express itself in very small ways and that a relationship can be successful without expensive gifts or the standard delegation of tasks.

Is the Princess Treatment trend always bad?

What initially sounded like an innocent TikTok trend, now seems more likely to be a significant danger to your relationship. But don't panic, it's not all that negative. Most videos clearly have a big wink, the statements don't take the demands too seriously, and they mainly try to challenge each other. According to Games, it ultimately comes down to finding a balance. “While courtesy and romantic gestures are wonderful, there is no reason to fall into extremes where women are encouraged to make themselves small and disappear into the background in the presence of men.” So you can certainly enjoy a princess treatment once in a while, as long as you also keep doing your own thing, don't set your expectations for your partner too high, and occasionally pamper the other as well.

Image: LIAM DANIEL\/NETFLIX. Source: Huffpost