Scrolling or sex? Why TikTok sabotages your libido
You know how it is: you crawl into bed in the evening, ready for some quality time with your partner. But instead of a kiss and maybe some exciting foreplay, you reach for your phone. ’Just watching a quick video,“ you say. Three quarters of an hour later, you're in a wormhole of dancing teenagers, life hacks you'll never use, and a cat playing the piano. Meanwhile, your partner has already fallen half asleep and you? Your head feels full, but your body is definitely not in the mood.
Dopamine snacks instead of foreplay
The problem with apps like TikTok and Instagram is that they continuously give your brain mini-rewards. Every video is a shot of dopamine. Delightfully addictive, but disastrous for your libido. Because why would you bother with slowly built-up tension when your brain gets used to quick kicks? You literally get distracted from your own desire.
Comparison stress as a mood killer
And then there's the infamous scroll effect: comparison. All those perfect bodies, filters, and couples who supposedly go on romantic dates every day. Nice to see, but your self-confidence often takes a hit. Nothing drains the tension from the bedroom faster than the thought “do I actually look sexy?” Spoiler: that insecurity is much more of a mood killer than a faulty light on your nightstand.
The phone as a third wheel
We often take it lightly, but to be honest: your phone is often the third in your relationship. It's there during dinner, during a good conversation, and also in bed. That “just scrolling for a bit” steals time and attention that you could also spend on each other. Not very strange that sex sometimes it seems more like a side issue.
How do you approach it differently?
Don't worry, you really don't have to throw your phone out of the window radically. Small hacks can make a world of difference:
• TikTok curfew – Make an agreement with yourself: no scrolling after a certain hour.
• Bedroom = phone-free zone – Yes, really. Buy an alarm clock if necessary so you can't use your phone as an excuse. Or use a magnetic charging stand. That way, you can't keep holding onto that thing.
• Make it a game – Whoever puts their phone down first gets a reward. And no, not a chocolate.
• Consciously slow down – Instead of getting swept away by fast content, practice building up slowly: a longer kiss, a massage, extensive foreplay.
The real dopamine hit
Social media gives you short kicks, but intimate moments with your partner provide your body with much more happiness hormones. Think of oxytocin, the so-called cuddle hormone, and endorphins that make you happy. So where TikTok it keeps you awake, sex can actually help you sleep better and feel more connected.
Conclusion
Scrolling is fun, but it doesn't compare to an evening together under the sheets. Your phone can wait, your partner can't always. So the next time you're lying in bed with your thumb hovering over the swipe button, ask yourself: do I really want to see a cat on a keyboard now, or do I choose an orgasm? Small spoiler: the second option feels a lot better.
More inspiration to make your bedroom more exciting? Read on at LotteLust.
Image: Sabrina Lantos/Netflix © 2023
