Things that men secretly do with their penis

They fiddle around all day long. You have to give it to them: they are creative guys. From the helicopter to the look-at-me-now-I’m-a-woman; this is what men do with their little things when there are no spectators.

Catapulting

They press their penis down in a ‘happy’ state, then let it go, causing it to smack against their lower belly at high speed. Hilarious.

Bend it all the way until it can't go any further

Still quite flexible, such a penis.

Annemaria-cuckoo

Game rules: he stands in front of the mirror and does the gentleman between his thighs. And lo and behold: he suddenly becomes a she! Ha-ha-ha!

Stretching

Especially in younger years a popular move. Pulling your penis down hard several times a day. By ‘stretching’ the foreskin, they hope to get a bigger penis. Wokeee.

Swinging

Looks a bit, well, quite peculiar, but when he really gets into the rhythm, he swings his whole thing from left to right towards his butt. Put on the music, babe!

The hotdog

I’m not kidding. Creative indeed, folding your entire external thing into a hotdog. Anyone ordered a meatball sandwich? Brrr.

Moving it without his hands

If it’s stiff and he’s REALLY trying hard with deep focus, then his anaconda can move. Even dance. It’s an art.

Looking in there

Yes, in that little pee hole. A bit awkward though.

Measuring it

Especially in the teenage years of course (hopefully). And definitely a few centimeters were fudged.

Fiddling quarter

Just like women sometimes feel their breasts. Not with a sexual charge, but just because it feels nice.

Tapping with it

Pretty much everywhere. Of course in a happy state. Tap. Tick. Laugh. Man. Stiff. Stick. Plop. They really do it.

P.S.: Yep, this penis game article is definitely in the top 5 of my most shameless pieces. And this article still ranks number 1.