The most dangerous form of narcissism (and how to recognize it
Narcissism is everywhere. From that friend who only talks about herself to that colleague who presents your ideas as if he came up with them himself. But did you know that there is also a most dangerous form of narcissism that exists? One that is so destructive that you literally have to watch out for it?
In this article, I will take you into the dark depths of malignant narcissism (yes, it really is a thing), how it differs from the more ‘everyday’ narcissist, and how you can protect yourself against it.
What is narcissism again?
In short: narcissism is a personality disorder where someone has an exaggerated sense of self-importance, an enormous need for admiration, and at the same time feels little to no empathy for others. Sounds fun, right?
But beware: not every narcissist is immediately dangerous. One is mainly exhausting, the other downright scary.
The most dangerous form of narcissism: malignant narcissism
According to psychologists, it's simple: the most dangerous form of narcissism is the malignant narcissist. These people are not only egocentric and manipulative, they combine their narcissism with antisocial and sadistic traits. As in: they take pleasure in your struggles. Brrr.
What makes malignant narcissism so scary? They:
- feel superior to everyone (and think it's justified),
- have no conscience when they harm someone,
- secretly enjoy your pain (emotionally and physically),
- can be violent and escalate faster than you think.
They are often people who ultimately end up in institutions because they cannot function in society.
Pathological narcissism: a little less scary, but still toxic
Another form we encounter more often is pathological narcissism, also known as the classic narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Less intense than malignant, but still quite a challenge to deal with. It can occur that people in leadership positions have this form of narcissism. We have written about that before; this is how you recognize your narcissistic boss.
How do you recognize it? These people:
- have an extreme need for admiration (24/7 validation, please),
- cannot handle criticism at all,
- manipulate others to get their way,
- have difficulty with stable relationships (yes, also friendships),
- and empathy? No way, they don't know that.
How do you recognize the most dangerous form of narcissism?
Just a reality check: you usually only recognize a malignant narcissist after it has been going on for a while. But pay attention to these signals and you will see, once you have this list in your head, all the puzzle pieces will fall into place.
- You feel manipulated, but can't put your finger on it.
- They are extremely jealous, controlling, and aggressive when they don't get their way.
- They twist every argument so that you are the problem.
- You feel exhausted, drained, and you no longer trust yourself.
What if you live with a narcissist?
Breathe in, breathe out. It can be very intense, but you are not alone. Seek help, talk about it (a lot and often I would advise, it makes things clear in your head), and know that you are not exaggerating. Narcissism is real. And it's okay if you think: I can't take this anymore.
Tip: Check out Psychology Magazine for nice articles on dealing with difficult personalities. Sometimes it helps when someone says: no, you are not crazy. It really is as bad as it feels.
5 signs that you are dealing with a dangerous narcissist:
- They secretly enjoy your sadness or failure.
- You feel guilty or small, without a clear reason.
- They slowly isolate you from your friends and family.
- You constantly doubt your own feelings and memories.
- You walk on eggshells, always.
If you recognize this: run. No walking away. Just run. And remember: it’s not your fault.
Source: Psyq.nl
