These signals after the first date predict more than chemistry
Did you just have the dream date of your life? We’ve all been there. After hours of talking, you know for sure: you’ve found your soulmate. He likes the same things to do, your favorite food is made best by his mother, your values align, and oh yes: you have the same kind of friends. Everything seems perfect, but after a few days you hear nothing from him. Has he been kidnapped? Did he get hit by a bus? No. Unfortunately: he’s just not into you. Are you doubting whether your new soulmate actually doesn’t see you as a match? Then these are signals that unfortunately predict this ending.
1. The contact is so little that you speak to your dentist more
Do you not receive a message or call the day after your first date? Ouch. This may be hard to hear, but if that man also thought you were his soulmate, he would want to bind you to him as soon as possible. Men are simple creatures: once they know what they want, they go for it. That’s why you see guys like Mr. Big: they never want to give the Carrie in their life the stability of a marriage and a serious relationship because she’s just not quite what they want. But as soon as his Natasja shows up? He proposes to her after three weeks. It’s just how it is. A day might be acceptable, but a few days? Sorry, but he doesn’t want you. Accept it.
2. He wants to split the bill
Okay, I’ll admit: this is something typically Dutch. But, big but, a man who doesn’t even offer to pay the bill? That’s a clear sign. Apparently, he doesn’t want to invest his money in you. You’re not good enough for that. Even if a man knows you earn more, he would always offer to pay the bill. It’s just a matter of principle: it’s polite, gallant, and traditional. Everything in him wants to do that if you’re the one he wants to take home. Does he immediately ask to split before the bill is even on the table? Ouch, then you might as well skip this date in the future.
3. Getting home safely? We don’t know her
On one hand, it’s of course dangerous to show your place after the first date (because what if he’s some kind of serial killer), but it’s gallant if a man offers to bring you home safely. It doesn’t have to be with a horse and carriage, although that would be great. Just the offer to drop you off somewhere, walk you to your car, or call a taxi for you is already good. Such a gesture shows that he cares about you. If he makes a “Let me know when you’re home” comment while he’s already turned around… Girl. Run. It – doesn’t – matter – to him. Then you don’t want to pay attention to that, right? Exactly.
4. The date gets canceled and postponed
If a man really wants you, he will make time for you. Even if he sees you during his lunch break for a cup of coffee: if he wanted to, he would. If he cancels once due to personal circumstances, that can happen. He can’t help it if his grandma passes away, of course, but does he cancel because ‘he’s busy’? Then that’s just a lame excuse. Does he keep canceling? Then you know enough. Start swiping again.
5. Casual with a hint of seriousness
We’ve all probably heard this at least once: “I don’t want anything serious right now, but in a while, I’ll be ready for that.” At first, that sounds like a mature guy who is honest and realizes he can’t treat you the way you deserve right now. But no: that’s not the case. He never wants anything serious, but knows that by keeping the label ‘we’ll really date later’ in front of your nose, he ensures that you say yes and amen.
6. The initiative comes from you
This actually relates to our first signal: the contact. Are you the one who sends the first message every morning? Did you suggest the second date? Mmm. I see a pattern. If he only responds when you open the conversation, then he shows too little interest in you. No matter how great the first date was. If the contact, planning the date, and coming up with ideas only come from you, then something is wrong. Your soulmate will definitely make more effort for you than that.
If you see more red flags than cocktails during a brunch, it’s time to pay the bill and date further. Don’t chase after him anymore, but go the other way. After all, Carrie also needed six seasons to figure that out. You’d better do it faster. Seriously.
