Sleep problems? This is how even you fall asleep

I don't often have it, I'm the kind of person who dozes off on the back of a motorcycle, but there are periods when I just can't fall asleep. I count sheep, put my phone in another room, drink warm tea, really, I go through the whole list and still it doesn't work.

Why sleep problems feel so big at night

During the day, everything seems manageable. At night, thoughts grow larger, worries become heavier, and problems seem unsolvable. This is because your rational brain is less active and your emotional brain works harder.

With sleep problems, a small thought suddenly feels like a life question and a simple to-do feels like a disaster. This is not a sign that something is really wrong, but a biological effect of fatigue and silence.

By shifting your attention to your breathing, your tongue, and your feet, you pull yourself out of that thinking brain and bring your body back to a state of safety. Sleep arises precisely there.

Until I saw a reel of a Buddhist monk who explained it all so easily. Because according to him, sleep problems can be solved in three steps, and I must say: it sounds incredibly plausible.

Sleep problems step 1: exhale longer than you inhale

If you have a short breath, your body will associate that with stress or at least a physical activity that is far from rest. If you inhale for four seconds and then exhale for eight seconds, your body will associate that with rest and relaxation, even if you might not feel it yourself, and will start to behave accordingly. Compare it to a fake smile that will already make you feel better because your brain associates upward mouth corners with a good feeling. Anyway, exhaling slowly then.

Sleep problems step 2: relax your tongue

You may not be aware of it, but if you are not completely relaxed, your tongue isn't either. And you know, your tongue is a complex bundle of muscles that transmits a lot of information to your brain. If your tongue is relaxed, your body will see that as a barometer for the rest of your being. So bring your attention to your tongue and put it in a relaxed position.

Sleep problems step 3: focus on your feet

Of course, you've made sure everything is nice and warm, because you might sleep quite well in a cold room, this is even the ideal temperature, but your bed needs to be nice and warm. Now you are going to focus your attention on your feet, you feel the weight of the blanket, the warmth that the blanket provides. As soon as you shift your attention from your head to the lower part of your body, your feet, you automatically turn off the activity of your brain.

And then you will see that you, without realizing it, have suddenly and completely fallen asleep by yourself.

Sleep problems: this is what we are doing wrong en masse

Those who have sleep problems often think they are ‘doing something wrong’. Going to bed too late, too much screen time, the wrong tea, the wrong mattress, the wrong thoughts. But it is precisely that constant desire to solve and control that maintains sleep problems.

These are a few things we are doing en masse with sleep problems, but which often backfire:

• Trying too hard to fall asleep
• Constantly looking at the clock
• Staying in bed while your body is tense
• Thinking that you ‘really need to sleep now’
• Comparing yourself to others who “sleep through anything”

Sleep cannot be forced. The more pressure you put on it, the more awake you become. The power of the three steps in this article lies precisely in letting go of control.

Frequently asked questions about sleep problems

Does this help if you have been awake for hours?
Yes. This method is specifically designed for moments when your mind is too active and your body can't keep up.

Do I have to do everything perfectly to notice the effect?
No. Even a slight delay in your breathing or a few seconds of focus on your feet can make a difference.

Is this scientifically supported?
Breathing and attention play a proven role in relaxation and sleep. You can read more about this at the
Sleep Foundation.

What if I still can't fall asleep?
Then you have at least created calm. And calm is always step one towards sleep.