Love & Sex

Why arguing with your friend on vacation is an excellent idea

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relation
Traveling with your great love; a romantic dinner for two by the sea, and then wandering hand in hand through cute streets. In theory, that is. In practice, it sometimes ends up being just a bit less cinematic; for example, when Google Maps has you circling for twenty minutes. Good luck biting your tongue then. And yet, it turns out that it’s not so bad to argue a little on vacation. It’s even quite recommended if you want to improve your relationship.

Woman on the moors during her holiday in Belgium

On the road without navigation

You might not realize it, but at home you are constantly on autopilot. You don’t have to think about where the coffee mugs are, you just grab one every morning. The same goes for the toothpaste and if you’re organized, your keys. On vacation, that whole safety net disappears. Suddenly, you’re together in an unfamiliar environment where choices have to be made continuously: left or right, museum or beach, get up early or sleep in. According to researchers, that’s where there’s room to improve your relationship, because someone’s true personality comes to the surface then. It’s mainly about openness; how flexible is your partner when things don’t go as planned? Whether that’s an actual plan or one in your head that the other knows nothing about.

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Collaborating with your love

Therefore, it’s not so much about the arguing itself, but how you resolve it together. Strategies like searching for a solution together, admitting fault, or meeting halfway actually strengthen the butterflies in your stomach. It’s a small win that you’ve worked towards together. And you know how during a heated conversation you sometimes let go just a bit more than you normally would? That can be incredibly good for your relationship, as long as you don’t go too far. The feeling that you keep discovering your partner is exactly what keeps relationships lively. That fascination doesn’t come up in daily life just like that, precisely because you’re mainly running on autopilot there.

To completely fall out with each other every time you and your boyfriend see a little bear on the road might be a bit exaggerated. Plus: how often can you raise your voice before you get banned from that one little village in southern France, or your boyfriend decides to fly back solo? Yet, there is a kernel of truth in that much-abused saying, ‘no friction, no shine’. It’s precisely those vacation mishaps that can help you get to know each other outside of the fixed routine. We call that high risk, high reward.

SOURCE: Emerald