Why is being a mother always considered the greatest good?

Recently an undisclosed important fashion figure posted a photo on Instagram with a caption about another undisclosed fashion figure listing all her successful accomplishments over the past few years. She was a successful artist turned designer, has dozens of employees, and ‘above all she is the mother of 4 children.’ And that, that kinda makes my skin crawl.

This woman has built her own empire, she’s world famous and everyone is seen wearing her designs. But the fact that she has 4 kids, THAT is considered the most important thing she’s done? Alright, alright giving birth to new life is obviously very special but in theory it is something that every woman can do (excluding the evident exceptions) so is it really that extraordinarily impressive? I mean technically it’s not something that another woman can’t do. It bugs me that people tend to look more at whether or not a woman has produced new breed rather than looking at her business accomplishments.

It is hopelessly sexist. Have you ever read how in awe people are with the accomplishments of a male CEO of a successful firm and that alongside those accomplishments he is also a dad? See that hardly ever happens because people are more interested in his business performances in the work field. Why isn’t it like this for women too? Women are also guilty of doing this themselves by the way. You read so many interviews with important female celebs who are very proud of their Forbes 500 listing or their 26^th blockbuster being a gigantic hit, but eventually if you ask them what they are the most proud of they will say motherhood. Which is understandable since; being a mom is the hardest job around and not limited to a 40 hour work week. I am very aware of this.

Another thing that really gets on my nerves is that it is implied that if a woman has no kids, she’s not really successful. I like to refer to that as the “Jennifer Aniston effect.” This woman has starred in countless movies, acted in the most famous TV show ever and let’s not forget, is worth millions. But anytime you Google her name it’s safe to say that the headlines you come across most often are related to the terms “kids,” “children,” and “pregnant.” Interviews always bring up the fact that she has no kids, speculate about her being sterile and anytime she is photographed wearing an unflattering oversized outfit people automatically assume that she must finally be pregnant.

Women that are in long term relationships but don’t have any kids (yet) always bear the brunt and get asked about ‘when we can expect their first baby’ endlessly. The question is not ‘if’ they want children but ‘when’. Women are often, or at least more often than men, relegated to the use of their womb.

A woman who doesn’t want (or have) any kids is automatically considered cold, egotistical and ignorant. Lately even I have been doubting whether or not I have the desire to ever become a mom, something I have never actually shared on Amayzine. And even now I’m doing it in a rather attenuated manner. Anytime I bring up the subject during a conversation the answer is always: “oh just wait it out, you’re time is yet to come.” As if I can’t make up my mind now. What if I want different things in life differently and decide kids are not for me, does that make me less of a woman because I haven’t used my womb to take part in creating a new generation? Do the things I accomplish socially and at work count for nothing? And then we haven’t even discussed women who do want kids, but unfortunately aren’t able to have them. Imagine how painful it must be for them if the one thing everyone ever asks is the baby-question.

So yes, this really makes me blow my fuse. My inner feminist finds it all very hard to deal with and I find it very degrading since I may not ever want any kids of my own. Degrading to me, to Jennifer and any other woman who is in the same boat. There are more important things in life than breeding and the fact that this isn’t a given in this day and age, I find very unfortunate. May my life turn out differently than I plan on now this will be the first thing I will learn my children.