30x de slechtste Tinder-openingszinnen

Zin in een spontane ontmoeting op de vrijdagvond? Dat is nou jammer, want dat zit er voorlopig even niet in. Misschien hooguit een ongemakkelijke ontmoeting vóór 20.00 uur. Lastig verhaal dus wel. Tsja, arme singles, ik heb het maar met ze te doen in deze coronatijden. Gelukkig hebben ze altijd nog Tinder achter de hand, al weet ik niet of succes gegarandeerd is op deze app. Wanneer ik soms gesprekken lees op de telefoons van mijn single vriendinnen, gaan mijn nekharen echt recht overeind staan. Ligt het aan mij of kunnen mannen online gewoon echt niet flirten? Op Reddit is er zelfs een hele pagina aan gewijd: ‘Worst pick-up lines on Tinder’. Sommige openingszinnen zijn zelfs zó slecht dat ik denk dat ze nog best wel eens zouden kunnen werken. Andere zijn gewoon afschuwelijk. Lees zelf maar even.

1. ‘Are you sugar? Because you’re sweet and I wanna spoon you.’

2. ‘Have you got an ugly boyfriend?’
‘No.’
‘So are you looking for one?’

3. ‘Hi my name is Daniel, if anyone is looking to make a mistake tonight.’

4. ‘You have a bit cute on your face.’

5. ‘Are you a model?’
‘No.’
‘Oh, when did you quit?’

6. ‘Are you a meme? Because I’d like to show you to my friends and then hope they like you as much as I do.’

7. ‘I’m gonna sue Spotify for not including you in the ‘Hottest Singles of the Week’ list.’

8. ‘Your hands seem pretty heavy… Let me hold that for you.’

9. ‘My mom told me that life was a deck of cards, so I guess you must be the queen of hearts.’

10. ‘You dropped something: my jaw.’

11. ‘I can’t cook a good lasagna, but I can cook a great lasagna.’

12. ‘Twinkle twinkle little star, let’s have sex inside my car.’
‘Up above the world so high, think I’d rather fucking die.’

13. ‘Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you I smile.’

14. ‘I can’t believe you’re called Lola, my dog was also called Lola.’

15. ‘Titanic. Sorry, that was a horrible ice breaker.’

16. ‘I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love you see you go down.’

17. ‘So how do you like your eggs in the morning?’

18. ‘Are you a sea lion? Because I can see you lyin’ in my bed tonight.’

19. ‘If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber.’

20. ‘They say you are what you eat. If that’s true, I could be you by the morning.’

21. ‘Are you a terrorist? Because you make my heart go boom.’

22. ‘How are you beautiful?’
‘Genetics, I guess.’

23. ‘Is your last name Waldo? Because a girl like you is hard to find.’

24. ‘You have beautiful eyes. I mean, your eyes are whatever.’

25. ‘You like Mexican food? Because I want to wrap you in my arms and make you my bae-ritto.’

26. ‘Call me ASAP.’

27. ‘How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?’
‘Uhmmm, 8?’
‘Ten tickles.’
‘Ohhhh boy.’

28. ‘What if one day you woke up and you were a chicken nugget?’

29. ‘You are so pretty. You actually remind me so much of my ex girlfriend it made me tear up a bit.’

30. ‘615BF2CB044. It’s the wifi password. I figured out you were gonna ask for it eventually anyway.’