FIRST AID FOR INFIDELITY

‘At a certain age’ you see marriages falling apart around you. Together they are mainly juggling work and family, if they make plans they actually only do that with friends and before they know it, they are kissing in the bike shed after a parents' evening. With someone else, that is.

And oh oh oh, that all seems incredibly exciting and fun, but six months later I see him and her desperately dating, the comfortable jeep has been traded in and they both live somewhere ‘across the tracks’ or above the butcher. And I haven't even mentioned the children who suddenly have bags under their eyes and go home crying because they miss mom or dad so much. Divorce. Prevention is better than cure. So all loving fools, please pay attention to the SOS action plan in the category of infidelity.

1. Tell no one

And really, no one. There's a good chance you'll choose a woman to share your secret with and women are just not great at keeping secrets. They tell it all to someone, so before you know it, the entire schoolyard is looking at you with a know-it-all gaze. Moreover, your infatuation will be over by the time you've read this piece three times, and then it would be such a shame if someone has this incriminating information about you.

2. Try to like his wife

A nice man surely has a nice wife. And you don't want to hurt a nice woman. So for self-protection, go chat and have coffee with her. Bet that you'll suddenly find him a nice man belonging to someone else instead of a nice man for yourself?

3. Make plans with your own husband

Because let's talk about that. If you look at it closely, your husband is really the nicest. You didn't choose him for nothing to share your life with. You've just lost each other for a bit, but you can get him back easily. Reclaim the romance. Meet him at a restaurant. Both coming from work. He might not even know what you wore for him. Date your own husband. Just see how nice that is.

4. Play your music

That CD he burned for your first vacation, you still have it. Do you remember how incredibly in love you were?

5. Look at your children

If you let this fester, you'll only see them three days a week. In the best-case scenario. And then another woman will take them to Artis. And you'll saddle them with step-sisters and -brothers. You really don't want that, do you?

6. Consider this

In two years, The Other will also throw his socks next to the laundry basket. In a year, he will suddenly get involved with YOUR children. And in six months, you'll suddenly have two stepchildren who see you as the source of evil and will make your life hell. For as long as it takes to get you out of the picture.

As a divorced father said to me recently: “As divorced new lovers, you always start at a disadvantage.”

7. A little steamy sex

Take your children to your parents, to your in-laws, or to a good friend and enjoy yourselves immensely together.

Still in love?

Then go back to 1. And keep reading until it's over.