Wedding Etiquette
Handy for Jet and a bit for Liesbeth too
This morning, Liesbeth and I accidentally did a round of wedding dresses on Net-A-Porter and we quickly spent an hour on it. I get quite hysterical when it comes to weddings, but luckily Lies is there to temper me a bit. She has not necessarily the need to say “yes, I do”, but can't wait for that day of mine (there's already a speech ready if I am to believe her) and is happy to advise me when it comes to the dress.
“A veil is really hopelessly old-fashioned and I only accept it from people who are as ridiculously hysterical about weddings as you are.” That's how it goes a bit. Lies mainly looks under the tab ‘the white evening dresses’, but I find that too little. I really want to go all the way and that indeed comes with a price tag. “But tradition is that the bride's parents pay for the dress, right?” Liesbeth then tells me. Ha! Here I switch to my friend and wedding planner Lotte to hear what her experiences are. And, since we're talking about wedding etiquette, there are a few more pressing questions to prepare me for THE day. And you can bet that Liesbeth's ears are also perked up.
Who actually pays for the dress?
“You often hear that the bride's dream dress is paid for by her mother. It often happens that the bride's mother also received her wedding dress from her mother, thus continuing the beautiful tradition.”
Are there any other things specifically paid for by the bride's parents?
“Lucky parents, because it used to be very common for the bride's parents to pay for the entire wedding. That's not the case anymore, but you still often see that the parents of both the groom and the bride like to contribute their part.”
Should you wear your engagement ring after you are married or not?
“According to tradition, no, because the wedding ring naturally replaces this ring. However, many women continue to wear their engagement ring, and I would definitely do that too. Beautiful next to the wedding ring or on the other hand. What you sometimes see is that the engagement ring becomes the wedding ring. For example, by adding a stone or having a text engraved in it. I find that quite special, although I wouldn't mind wearing two on my finger...”
Why is it on the left anyway?
“Your left ring finger is said to be directly connected to the heart through the ‘vein of love’. If you are Protestant, you wear the engagement ring on the left and the wedding ring on the right. For Catholics, it's the other way around; they wear the engagement ring on the right and the wedding ring on the left. Nowadays, it doesn't really matter which hand you wear the rings on.”
Who is required to give a speech?
“Required, required, no one is of course obliged to give a speech. Some couples don't even want speeches. But traditionally, the first speech is given by the father of the bride and the second by the father of the groom, and then anyone who wants can speak. It is also expected that the couple themselves say something, and often the groom is the lucky (or unlucky) one to do that.”
And the wedding night, huh? In most cases, everyone is immediately in dreamland, right?
“Haha, I don't know what happens in the bedrooms, but you often hear that the newlyweds are completely exhausted from all the emotions of the day as they roll from the dance floor into the bedroom. But the tradition is often continued, you know!”
