Fun & Famous
7 THINGS ONLY TRAIN TRAVELERS UNDERSTAND
Somehow, I always work where I do not live. Which means the train and I are practically married, although I'm thinking about filing for a divorce. A little delay here, running to the platform there, and of course: the beast just zooms past your nose.
We train gypsies know: the life of a passenger is sometimes not cool. 7 shitty situations that all my train buddies undoubtedly understand:
1. Just on the day you’ve pulled out those brand new, ridiculously high high heels from their nest, three trains turn out to be canceled. And now four thousand people are waiting on the platform who all need to catch ‘your’ train. Trust me, after half an hour of being tossed back and forth in a connecting carriage, you’ll quickly realize what the term ‘seat shoe’ means.
2. Another thing: once you’re crammed in like a sardine in that packed train, there’s always some clueless stinker nearby. Way too close for comfort.
3. You know: taking the train is racing against the clock. Often I arrive just in the nick of time, or I’m just too late. But I swear, on the days that I happen to be early, the train or bus is too, which means you can forget it anyway.
4. At moments like this, you suddenly get extra annoyed by people like Paris Hilton and wonder why you don’t have a helicopter to take you to work. Seriously.
5. Also a nice moment: ending up with panda eyes in the morning rush hour after a night of partying. And then sitting across from a freshly showered businessman + suitcase + croissant and almost gagging from the . Cheers to summer!. It’s only happened once, people. Really.
6. Can I make a small request, NS? People going to the Household Fair should be banned from the train. Or at least ban those ridiculously ordinary plastic carts. That’ll teach them.
7. And finally, shall we agree that these people can only travel at impossible times? Between 01:00 and 03:00 or something, deal?
– Large groups of children on their way to a school trip.
– Every living being that eats peanut butter.
– Every living being that has nail polish or remover with them.
Intensely thank you, NS. That’s my Monday morning complaint song. I’ll just go and vent and enjoy the sunshine. Otherwise, I’m actually quite a nice person.
