Happy & Healthy

8 COMPLIMENTS THAT ARE ACTUALLY SNEERS

Today we are going to talk about the painful moments of life. Super fun! Namely those of the sneers disguised as compliments. The fuckers. The wolves in sheep's clothing. You can spot them easily, the nasty remarks. From former BFFs, great-aunts, or neighbors. With a high sweet voice, you get a sentence thrown at you and when you think about it longer, that remark doesn't make any sense. And you actually feel quite offended.

“CRY. PAIN. Where is the wine. That kind of thing.”

Alright, here they come.

1. “What an unusual jacket you are wearing!”

But it means: “Wow, that's an ugly jacket for which I couldn't think of a positive word, so I'll just go with unusual. Kid, it's soooooo lovely.”

2. “It's wonderful that you don't worry about your appearance at all!”

But it means: “Girl, please put on some makeup, this is unacceptable. And maybe take a shower too, you smell a bit.”

3. “You are such a delicious Dutch girl.”

You think: smile politely, but in the meantime, it feels like someone just pinched your fat on the left really hard. In fact, maybe someone actually did that.

I have a friend whose grandmother has done that before.

4. “You look really good for your age.”

You think: Oh, thank you! Wait, what? For your age? Why? Do you think I'm old or something?

5. “And you can really live off your artwork?”

You get inside: “It's a miracle that someone pays for this junk.”

6. “Oh sure, you can totally pull that off with your small breasts!”

You think: I really need to save up for that breast enlargement because I have no boobs.

7. “I wouldn't wear it myself, but it would look amazing on you!”

You think: Okay, I'm never going to wear this because it's hideously ugly. I think you just want to help me into the abyss.

8. “I admire your healthy appetite.”

You think: Fuck you.