KIKI-PLUNDERT-DE-IKEA-TAFERELEN

Don't let me go in IKEA. Just don't. First of all, I'm going to eat three hotdogs and I don't want that. Secondly, I'm going to wonder how on earth the food in IKEA can be so cheap. I mean: really, How. Can. That?

Then I suddenly realize how the IKEA bosses make ends meet and that immediately brings me to my third point: I'm going to spend a ridiculous amount of money. Really, like a madman, I grab all the jars, pans, rugs, and trinkets that I think I need. Then I also walk to the infamous ‘Bargain Corner’ at the end and convince myself that I really need that half-broken mirror too. Hello, it's half the price. That's technically a big win.

Then I add everything up in terms of price, get shocked, and then walk back – very coolly, as if nothing is wrong – The Walk of Shame through the aisles. With that shabby, canary yellow, almost torn IKEA bag on my arm. Three-quarters of the stuff goes back shamelessly to its place of origin. People, just don't let me in anymore. It might be better for everyone.

But I'm definitely taking this little rug home with me. I think it's too cute.

Why we secretly all love to snoop around in IKEA

(and no, again, we don't have shares…)

1. Because we love the nostalgic feeling when we walk past the children's play paradise and see the kids screaming and playing in the ball pit (although I was always the annoying kid who had to be picked up crying after five minutes. My mom always found that very amusing).

2. Because you can actually score cool trinkets in the Bargain Corner that don't fall apart from misery. Let's forget about the mirror.

3. For the Swedish meatballs with cranberry sauce and the refillable coffee (and okay, those hotdogs too).

4. Because it's so big that you can almost wander around for half the day. Just a quick look at that ridiculously beautiful walk-in closet from May...

5. Oh, and the 1-euro breakfast. Duh.

Written by Kiki Düren