Fun & Famous
KIKI’S EXPEDITIE ROBINSON-GEBRABBEL
Week 1: the eyes of Dave Roelvink
Hello dear people, friends, there I am again. Last week I briefly escaped for a few days in Tuscany, Chianti wine, buffalo mozzarella, and a wedding (more on that later), but now it's time to crawl behind the screen and talk about the talk of the day: the kick-off of experienced Expedition Robinson. You can still read on without spoilers. I'll give you a heads up.
The flight from Pisa was slightly delayed last night, causing me to miss the broadcast at half past 8, but thank god for RTL XL. So what you do when you get home is throw your phone to the other side of the room really quickly, because the Amayzine WhatsApp group was buzzing with live updates about the game and the candidates this year. I think men don't understand this, right? Women texting each other when they know they are all watching something together.
What usually happens: someone starts with the rhetorical question: “Are you also watching program X?”, after which the circus of crying emojis and HAHAHA’s flies around your ears with here and there a somewhat substantive comment but mostly a lot of: ‘OMG I find him/her so annoying.’ and: ‘Look at those boobs!’ or: ‘Shitttt… he is really handsome…’, ‘And can she please keep her mouth shut for a second?’, ‘Annoying, right, that commercial, I feel like it’s getting longer and longer.’ and: ‘What are you eating?’.
Again, men, I understand that you don’t get this. But just let us have this for a moment. I digress, we were supposed to talk about Robinson. That program with that amazing theme tune that suddenly makes me want to climb trees and sleep on sand. And especially: the first impressions of the candidates. Because that first episode is always a bit ‘meh’, without a trial.
Or did someone order lobster?
And therefore: the 7 things that stand out to me so far about Expedition Robinson 2016. Spoiler freaks, really get lost now, kssssccht.
1. This year, the action is immediately ‘on’. Camp North and South are dropped together on an island and the competitive game element becomes apparent early on. Stealing bananas from each other, little fights that will explode next week; it’s going to be a feast feast feast.
2. Farmer Bertie could have used a little sunshine before she went on expedition. But really. Or did someone order lobster?
3. And since we’re talking about Bertie: I am genuinely shocked by her tattoo. Someone in the Amayzine WhatsApp group compares it to two crippled horses above a navel. #youknowwhoyouare. Oh, and Kraantje Pappie is also quite plastered by the way.
4. Teva sandals are the Jimmy Choos of island shoes.
5. Bartho Braat is a hero. Period. And I think the chance that he will make it through the merger is also high. No one sees him as a competitor.
6. I secretly wonder if Jessie’s (Miss Netherlands) boobs are real.
7. Binkie from the island Jayjay will definitely be voted out quickly. And cause trouble. It’s just a matter of waiting for the explosion.
Teva sandals are the Jimmy Choos of island shoes.
8. Never thought I would say this, but Dave Roelvink is seriously quite a hottie. I mean: check those eyes. Those eyes. I can’t handle it. Are these colored lenses or something? No, they probably aren’t allowed on the island. So they are real bright blue eyes. Sigh…
9. Furthermore, he can better keep his mouth shut, because if he starts talking like an ordinary Amsterdam fishmonger, we will really snap at you.
10. Although this quote from him was brilliant by the way: “Delightfully quiet here, no Boulevard or Shownieuws in my neck.” You realize you are stuck on a small island with a Shownieuws presenter and a Boulevard expert, right? It’s just that you’re handsome, Dave…
11. The makers are again incredibly good at teasing the next episode, because GOD, that’s going to be quite exciting, I think. And this ‘day after’ column, we’ll keep it for another week or eleven, you understand. More rambling next week!
