Sexy Friday
SEX @ THE OFFICE WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT
Do you have a fling at the office? Not so strange; one in three Dutch people has had something with a colleague. It's the ultimate way to seek excitement in a usually not so exciting work environment. Just look at lawyers Mike Ross and Rachel Zane in the hit series Suits (yes, her, the new love of Prince Harry).
Just a quickie in the library, the bathroom, the stairwell, with your butt on the copier; oh dear, who cares. Anything to feel that mega exciting thrill. But is the last thing you want to get caught with your sex buddy? Look, then a few rules need to be established. This way you can enjoy each other the longest without others finding out:
Logical but eh, keep it a secret
Especially if it's just about the sex. Now I understand that it's super exciting to have a sex buddy at the office so if you really have to tell someone, tell your bestie who doesn't work at the same company. Okay, do you still want to tell someone at work? Then only to one person. The one you trust the most. But read well: at your own risk.
Choose strategic places to have sex
Sounds like the ultimate wet dream, that desk of your boss. But shall we just stick to the classic broom closet? That empty stairwell? The toilet? The storage room?
Just a quickie in the library, the bathroom, the stairwell, with your butt on the copier…
Do NOT use your business email account for your naughty chats
Because computers are tricky and sometimes do things that won't make you happy, like sending emails to the wrong people. Sexting + your business email address = asking for trouble. So use your private email, preferably from your own phone.
Fast, faster, fastest
We need to run, jump, fly, have sex, fall, get up and keep going. Seriously, you can always have a quickie within a quarter of an hour. Otherwise, colleagues will start wondering where the heck you are. Set a timer if necessary to keep track of time.
Skip those difficult positions
Doggy style, standing; those are the only two positions that are really quickie-proof and from which you can quickly get up if needed. Save those complicated Circus Renz acrobatics for home.
And last but not least: erase your traces
That broom closet must be exactly in the same state after your sex escapade, that blouse must be straightened and fix your hair and makeup before you crawl back behind your desk. Otherwise, the sex is ALL OVER YOU. And we don't want that, because sneaky was the whole idea, remember?
Happy humping!
