Sexy Friday

COMPLICATED: MEN AND PUBIC HAIR

The rules of pubic hair for women? Simple: it gets shaved. Or at least nicely trimmed or styled into a shape crafted into a strip. Men do not like a wild front yard. You know it, I know it – clear. But the hair on men? That suddenly becomes a whole other story.

Women are quite vague about that. One of my friends finds it super attractive to have a smooth-shaven eel next to her in bed (because sexy and hygienic), while the other prefers a wild King Kong: “Do you know how scary it is when such a bald porn dick stares at you?” This is the kind of conversation I have with my girlfriends after three glasses of white, just for your information.

“Do you know how scary it is when such a bald porn dick stares at you?”

I find myself somewhere between King Kong station and Eel. I am convinced that this fuzz, tuft, or wig is indeed important during sex, as long as it is well-groomed. Do you know why we even have pubic hair? “It was designed by nature so that men and women would slide off each other less quickly during the act,” I read. Aah, that’s why mine always slides off me during sex. No, exactly. I think it’s bril-liant.

Additionally, it provides protection against the cold (not entirely unimportant in the Stone Age) and perhaps the most important function: pubic hair acts as a, uh, ‘lure’. “Scent is very important in attracting a sexual partner and in the pubic area, there are glands that produce pheromones. This ‘lure’ is held and spread by our pubic hair.” Sounds quite primal. And nowadays we have clothes and perfumes that mask our body odor, right? And yet, there’s nothing as exciting as the real scent of your bed partner. Men, I find it complicated.

“King Kongs; trim it a bit. Seriously.”

My advice? King Kongs; trim it a bit. Seriously. Then your thing looks a bit bigger too. Eels; let that stuff grow subtly and become a bit more masculine, so that the lure effect isn’t completely gone. Good luck.