Fun & Famous

So you thought you were fancy with your moths? Well, not at all!

When I took my ultra-beautiful Paul & Joe sweater out of the closet this morning, my eye caught a hole. A terrible, gaping hole. And of course, this hole was right there front row. You understand; we (me and my sweaters) couldn't handle that after the misery with the wool shearing machine so we just couldn't deal with it. Does it never stop?

Apparently not by itself.

Back to the gaping hole. At first, I thought: huh? WHO made this hole? Was it a pet? Was it a cigarette? Was it someone who hates me? But I couldn't think of anything, because I have no pets and I quit smoking four years ago. Moreover, I have been doing my utmost my whole life to be liked by everyone, so there simply can't be anyone who hates me.

Then I thought: did I perhaps get caught on something? But the gaping hole was really at the front of my sweater. And if you get caught on something with your belly (!), you notice that, right? Unless you are seriously drunk at that moment, but I have never been (seriously) drunk in that particular sweater. So then my boyfriend said the worst thing ever. He said:

‘I think it was a moth. I think I saw one recently.‘

Well, then the trouble really started. A moth. In my house, under my roof. The audacity! The hypocritical intruder! I didn't know what to do. Was there something fundamentally wrong with my hygiene? Could there possibly be more moths in the house? Do those nasty creatures operate in groups or alone? And what would it mean for my image that I have moths? I mean: lice and bedbugs are really the biggest shame and horror ever in New York. Bedbugs mean you are not clean, and as soon as someone hears you have bedbugs, reprimands follow to the max. Think: no playdates for your children (no one wants to play with your child and children certainly can't play at your house). And no playdates = social exclusion. Yes, then you might as well just die. Admittedly: moths are not bedbugs, but it's close if you ask me. I felt like a dirty person. A fashion-unworthy human on the edge of the social abyss.

Until I confessed the problem to a few luxury friends. And what turns out, people, what turns out? Even their most beautiful wool and best cashmere is often affected for some reason. Moths don't seem to like (cheaper) synthetic sweaters, and they definitely prefer beautiful pure wool from Max Mara, Céline, and By Malene Birger. Look, we can work with that. Wouldn't you just accidentally make holes in your other sweaters just to show how chic you are? I say: cherish those mothballs!

”Wouldn't you just accidentally make holes in your other sweaters just to show how chic you are? I say: cherish those mothballs!

But let's take a moment. Are moths really total luxury creatures? It depends on how you look at it. The most important need to know: the moth doesn't nibble on your clothes itself, its larvae do. And they have a strong aversion to linen, cotton, and (cheap) synthetic stuff: they prefer to feed on proteins in wool, leather, fur, and feathers. So their preference for pure, protein-rich natural material could be called luxury in a strange way. What is a bit less chic: moths especially like to lay eggs in greasy, already worn (woolen) clothing. They find it tasty. And let's not wash our super deluxe woolens after just one or two wears. Ai ai. And if we do wash the woolens, we do it cold anyway, while hot washing can help prevent moths.

Fortunately, solutions are circulating. If you already have moths, you can at least put a sweater in the freezer for a while. Then the eggs freeze to death. I also read that it helps to hang your clothes in a light place and to clean your sweaters with a vacuum cleaner. Plus: you should definitely store them in a clothing bag after cleaning from now on. Which I haven't done obediently. Moreover, my closet is as dark as night, so something needs to change there too.

Well, I could go on for hours with powerful moth tips, but there is more to life than moths, so I'll stop already. But for those who (like me) want to read more: hurry to Duurzaamthuis.nl And also on Mileucentraal.nl there are also a few important, trendy tips.