Fun & Famous
THE THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO TELL MYSELF WHEN I WAS 18
Let's rewind to the summer of 1999. I was eighteen, had just graduated from HAVO, and was plagued by a truly ma-ni-cal obsession with magazines and clothes. To top it off, I went on a bus holiday to Croatia with a friend, for a vacation drowned in sickly sweet mixed drinks. We slathered ourselves in coconut oil factor 2, were addicted to flavored lip gloss, and danced until dawn. In way too short skirts of course and in way too sticky nightclubs where the smoke machines and foam cannons were working overtime. If You Had My Love, Mambo No. 5, and No Scrubs were favorites. As soon as we heard those songs, it was time to shake those hips. Preferably on a dance block, with as much audience as possible.
Those were the days, you would say. And it was fantastic. Still, I secretly wished I had known a bit more about life. About friendships. About making choices. About Love. If only I could go back in time? Maybe it would have been a bit easier sometimes? Of course, it can't be done, I know that too, I'm not crazy, but these are the things I would like to tell myself when I was eighteen.
“Mathematically speaking, it's just not possible for everyone to like you, you know”
1. Realize for a moment how BEAUTIFUL you are. You're stressing out about a tiny little fat roll, but man oh man, your body is just so fit and fantastic that it's not even funny. I mean: 75D and size 36-38? I'm just a bit jealous of you here.
2. Try not to worry too much about what others think of you. Because everyone who doesn't like you is a loser. Moreover, you can't please everyone. That sounds like a mud-fucking cliché, but you really have to take it from me. Mathematically speaking, it's just not possible for everyone to like you, you know.
3. Everyone is just as insecure as you are. Really. And especially the people who are bitching about you.
4. The most important question in life is: what do you want?? So not: what does your mother want? What does your father want? What does your best friend want? What does your boyfriend want? What does your ex want? Doing what someone else expects of you doesn't work, because you almost always have to go back on it and it gives you terrible panic attacks. No joke.
5. Say what’s on your mind, even if you think others will find you stupid, dumb, or weird. First of all, they don't think you're stupid, and secondly, they should keep their mouths shut. Really, just start practicing, because it's not exactly fun to learn this at 35 still having to learn.
6. Keep driving. Keep practicing. Otherwise, you'll get terrible driving anxiety. And those are no jokes.
“Also stay lying down. Breathe, relax, trust”
7. Don't be so good at school. It's okay to fail a test once. Or score a six. Or skip a lecture once. When you start studying, you'll go out with your friends on Thursday nights until dawn. But they will just stay in bed the next morning. In your room, moreover. While you, damn it, go to class and make sure there's bread in the house. Also stay lying down. Breathe, relax, trust.
8. Always trust your instincts. Especially when it comes to friendships.
9. Fuck the opinions of others. That credo basically applies all the time, but is especially interesting when it comes to your love life. If you like someone (or not), then you like that person (or not). To quote your father's wise words: they don't have to deal with him in the end. You do.
10. This also applies to your choice of study. You're still so sensitive to what others think of your choice of study. It's fine that there are people who find studying history or Dutch painfully boring, but you have to study it, they don't.
11. Go out into the world, go travel, take a gap year for example. Otherwise, when you're 26, you suddenly have to give up your best job ever because you still have unfinished travel business. And those are no jokes either. So come on, get on that plane.
12. Enjoy!! And dare to lean back a bit, to trust. It will be fine. Everything will be fine. And if it doesn't turn out fine, it will still be fine. Really.
