Why it downright sucks when your partner is on vacation
I am really a terribly bad and hypocritical stay-at-home. Always going on vacation (and then my boyfriend can't complain), but when the other suddenly goes away for a week, then I find it -gulp- downright shitty...
Sander is on his annual week of skiing with his friends and I'm feeling grumpy again. Not because I don't want him to have his outing. I definitely do. But because he's away and I'm simply, uh, not. I don't know if this is a typical case FOMO of (the Fear Of Missing Out) or if I just can't stand that I'm the one who is ‘waiting’ at home. Pathetic and alone, à la Bridget Jones with ice cream on the couch until her partner returns safely. My feminist heart bursts into tears upon realizing the previous sentence. Anyway, I don't really see myself in the ‘whiny girlfriend’ category, but the only, only requirement I have when my partner is away is that he calls me every evening. Just so I know he's doing well and because I'm curious about his stories.
Night 1. I wake up at half past 3 at night, look at my phone, see no missed calls and think that my guy A: is buried under an avalanche, B: didn't find me that important tonight or worse C: is being brought home by a few frisky ladies in Tyrolean outfits. I quote myself: ‘Aren't you going to send me a message to say goodnight? Greediness.” Now that I'm reading this back, I laugh at myself, but you understand that I didn't say this, but my mind was temporarily taken over by a very frustrated woman. “Yeah sorry darling, I fell asleep,” I see pop up on my screen the next morning at half past 8. I had fallen asleep... Really such a typical male response. Day 2. I get a call at half past 9 in the evening. I can barely understand him, because the schnitzel, schnapps, and shots have really hit hard. “Yeah no sweetheart, everything is going great here. It was fun at the après-ski.
. We're walking on a mountain and are a bit -HIK- lost...‘ On one hand, I take these kinds of phone calls very badly and want to book a ticket to Austria at a moment's notice, jump on a snowmobile, “save' my guy and then probably yell at him. On the other hand, I always have to laugh at his simple soul when he's so tipsy. I decide to just not worry for the rest of the week and let him enjoy his skiing and drinking fest. With difficulty, though. Grumpy and all. Is your loved one also away for a week and do you feel the grumpiness bubbling up? Read the following before you start yelling at each other over the phone.. 1. Being in a relationship simply means daring to let each other go. Because even within a close relationship, it's good if you both have an ”own‘ life. Although there are limits, huh – you understand that.
2. But you want him to do this, that, and the other on vacation. Remember that trying to change someone else is pointless. It only creates irritation.
3. True love knows no fear. No matter how airy-fairy this may sound: love is a positive energy. It's about fun, connection, intimacy, a deep sense of trust, and wanting the very best for each other. Yes, apparently that also includes those twenty beers at the pub. Frisky Tyrolean kitties do not. I repeat: do not.
4. Realize that clinging to your partner is selfish. It seems like a form of unconditional love, but actually, you want to keep the other under control.
because you feel insecure.
. For example, you might feel insecure about standing alone in life or insecure about losing the other. While that's usually completely unnecessary. Aren't you the prettiest? Duh. I am really a terribly bad and hypocritical stay-at-home. Always going on vacation (and then my boyfriend can't complain), but when the other.... I am really a terribly bad and hypocritical stay-at-home. Always going on vacation (and then my boyfriend can't complain), but when the other suddenly goes away for a week...
Written by: Kiki Düren
