WHY Kiek LONGS FOR A ROBOT BOYFRIEND
(AND NO, NOT JUST FOR SEX)
I’ll just throw it out there: 2016 is the year of robot partners. For all the women reading this in the future with their robot boyfriend next to them: yesss, you were right. Scientists also agree: love and even sex with robots will indeed become inevitable.
My biggest problems with this development:
A) All the hotties of robots currently circulating on the market are female.
B) Robots are so ridiculously expensive that only the super-rich can afford a robot for themselves – and I’m not going to rent one from someone because: uh.
C) I don’t think my boyfriend Sander will agree if I introduce a robot into our relationship.
Aside from these three reasons , having a robot boyfriend is actually a GREAT IDEA. Why?
1. You can come up with your own name
Look, in real life you obviously have no choice. If your boyfriend is named Arend, Karel, or Alfred, then you just have to deal with it (sorry, guys). But with the purchase of a robot boyfriend, suddenly all options are open again. If it were up to Lies, Felix and Gijs would be the ideal names for a boyfriend. Robot Gijs. Sounds pretty cool.
2. No more questions about kids
Once your parents are used to your shiny boyfriend, you’re also forever free from the ‘when are we getting grandchildren’ question. Boom.
3. You can take him to weddings
and other parties
Are you bothered every year by that old aunt asking where your partner is? Then you understand this all too well. However, if you had a robot boyfriend with the capabilities of a high-end vibrator, the looks of Channing Tatum, and the titanium strength of a forklift to spin you around the dance floor, every woman would look at you with envy. Bet?
4. If you go out to eat from now on, you only have to pay half
Have you seen how ridiculously EXPENSIVE eating out at an average restaurant is nowadays? This reason alone is enough for me to switch to a robot boyfriend.
5. The sex
Are you seriously going to tell me that you’re not even a little, tiny, microscopic bit curious about what on earth it will be like, having sex with a robot?
6. Quite a nice ex
If my robot boyfriend and I decide to break up, at least I won’t see him popping up every second on my Facebook, where he introduces his new, ridiculously handsome robot girlfriend, with whom he’s going to marry and have robot kids. No more hassle because we wanted to seem grown-up and wanted to stay ‘friends’ even though we never speak again. Nope, the robot boyfriend will probably disappear into the garage after the relationship, among rotten bicycles and shoeboxes with old videotapes. Exactly where he belongs.
Written by Kiki Düren
Source: Metro UK
