Happy & Healthy
13X THIS IS WHAT YOU THINK WHEN YOU BUY CLOTHES INTENTIONALLY TOO SMALL...
Probably 90 percent of women immediately know what this is about. So you bought an amazing pair of pants/skirt/dress that actually isn't your size at all. No, ma'am had to buy it a size TOO SMALL as a motivation. Like: ha, this is where I will be in a few months. Just so you know, butt!
I also call it the OEDPIDI. The ‘One Day I'll Fit Into This Item’. It's the piece of clothing that you try on again and again to see where you stand in the battle against the pounds. The fitting piece doesn't have to be new, it can also be an old love in which you've ruled the shit for years. But preferably new and really ridiculously beautiful, of course, because the bigger the chance that you want to fit into it.
I recently made another OEDPIDI purchase. And this was roughly what I thought about it:
1. That is really an AMAZING dress. Let's see, is my size there? No. Fuck. Only small sizes. Grrr. Should I just try it on anyway? I mean: trying it on can't hurt, right?
2. Meanwhile, panting and groaning in the fitting room: OKAY SUCK IT IN FAT ASS, DJEEEEZ!
3. Alright, don't ask me how, but I'm in it. Those flaps bulging out on all sides are just a bit less. I feel like a rollmops/sausage bun.
4. But hey, this is too beautiful a dress not to take with me...
5. Angel on the shoulder: “Isn't it better to buy a piece of clothing in your own size that you actually feel comfortable in?”
I also call it the OEDPIDI. The ‘One Day I'll Fit Into This Item’.
6. Devil: “Even if you don't eat anything for three months, you buy this. Done.”
7. Me: Okay, I'm going to eat nothing for three months.
8. * Comes home and doesn't dare to show the purchase to partner *
9. * Sneaks undercover to the bedroom and puts the dress on again *
10. Okay, this really doesn't fit at all. But wait, in three months...
11. * Hangs new dress with all the other OEDPIDI clothing ever bought *
12. Three months later: Okay fuck it, that damn thing still doesn't fit. I'm NEVER buying clothes that don't fit me again.
13. Eight months later: That is really an AMAZING dress. Fuck. Only small sizes. Should I just try it on anyway? I mean: trying it on can't hurt, right?
