3 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO YOUR PARTNER IN A FIGHT

I've done it too. In the heat of the moment, I said something to my love that I later thought: did I really say that? You little terror child. But some things are just better left unsaid. If we are to believe psychology, at least. And we do.

It's very human to think during yet another fight about the same little annoying thing: WHY? Why is this suddenly our life? How on earth did it ever get this far? Things used to be a lot more straightforward, easier, and much more fun, right? Discussing, nagging each other for the sake of nagging, disagreements in a relationship, it happens to everyone at some point. At least, everyone who has been together for more than a year, let’s put it that way. In a fight all ammunition is naturally used that is available at that moment to prove your point, but according to research from Psychology Today, there are three important points to not shout out when things go wrong if you want to stay together happily and especially enjoyably.

1. If you really love me, then you would....

Total emotional blackmail that actually makes no sense. You are literally telling your partner that he doesn't love you if he doesn't perform a certain action your way. Do you ever catch yourself doing this? If so, stop it quickly. What you can say instead?

Something like: I find it hard to understand why you wouldn't want to do X and Y.

2. Why is it not like it used to be between us?

Oh shit, I've been guilty of this too. But comparing your relationship to ‘the past’ when you just fell in love with each other simply cannot be done, dear people. The reality is that people and relationships change and grow over the years. Additionally, the dopamine produced in your brain when you fall in love with someone is, according to scientists, comparable to cocaine use. Your self-confidence rises. You become obsessed with that person due to the substance in your brain and do everything for him/her at that moment. In the past, there was actually a thick, fake (but delightful) Instagram filter over your relationship. After a few years, you simply find yourself in the makeup-free selfie phase. What you can say instead? I would love for us to do X and Y again, just like we did when we first got to know each other. Do you remember how fun that was?

3. You are acting just like your mother/father

Undoubtedly the most common annoying remark during disagreements. How stupid is it to drop a direct attack on his family in a conversation? I mean, the chance that the conversation takes a wrong turn increases significantly by 100. If you are ready to attack, keep it to yourself. Say something like: what you are doing/saying now I find really incredibly unpleasant/annoying/exaggerated/whatever. You will get much more out of that than insulting in-laws.

So, make sure to remember those three points well. Because we are of course going for that happily ever after. And if things are often tense at your place, Adeline has a few fantastic fight tips for you. Guaranteed laughter.