Best of 2017

It is days-hours-minutes-work before 2017 is over. You might as well spend it as well as possible, we thought here in the editorial office. That’s why we present you with a blockbuster of the year every day. The list of posts that you all sat down for was quite diverse, I can tell you that already. And today, especially for you:

WHAT WE ALL THOUGHT WHILE WATCHING ADAM SEEKS EVA

Please say that you watched penis television again yesterday. We really need to talk about it because this was absolutely the most awkward episode of Adam Seeks Eva VIPS so far. UNBEARABLE.

1. Okay, ex-B-Brave singer Cassius is coming in. First impression? Nose piercing: brrr. Body: totally okay. Bonus points for the beginning of a six-pack. Nice butt too.
2. It's strange, really, that you can appear naked on TV at nineteen but get refused in some bars just because you're too young.
3. Time to meet his Eva. Jaidy-Bo. 22 years old, about four tattoos, from Amsterdam (though I would have believed Lutjekut too) and lives with her dog Lizzy. The first thing I think when I look at Jaidy? No. Sorry. If this is love at first sight, I will never trust myself again.
4. First question. “What do you do in daily life?” “I work at a coffee shop.” Perfectly CAST!!! “But I’ve never smoked weed, you know.” Haha. Did you know the story of that woman who worked in the shoe store and had never bought a pair of shoes? No, exactly. Me neither.
5. Madam doesn't actually know the whole band B-Brave either. Has never heard of that whole Cassius. Is that just a bit painful for his ego. Mr. is clearly full of himself and looking for a fangirl. Cassius tries to salvage the situation somewhat. “What kind of music do you like?” “I like going to the Toppers.” I see his little buddy spontaneously shrink by two centimeters. Poor guy.
6. In the category of annoying speech: she says ‘ontzettond spannond’. I find it incredibly annoying.
7. There are more people who do this by the way. I also call it the Gordon virus. I always wonder what causes this. Especially people from Rotterdam and Amsterdam suddenly find it very hip.
   During = timeUs, cheering = cheerIng, thousand = ThouSand. Really quite annoying.
8. He sings the song ‘One night stand’ for her. Very appropriate and romantic too. Good move, man! The lyrics go something like: ‘Sorry, dear, this is a one night stand. You also want someone else when you know who I am. Be real with you, real with you. Real with you.’ Poop-shit-cock-snore.
9. She: “Sorry, I don’t know the song.” He: “Wow, you really live under a rock.” A semi-offensive eyebrow from his side. Yes, I told you; it was going to be a long loooong evening.
10. Well, despite the differences, Adam and Eva are trying to make something of it. Cassius and Jaydy start cooking together. Put a boy band member on an island and this is what you get. *The guy is going to cook.
    * Opens the box. * Sees a container of flour. * Responds with a grin: wow, looks like coke.
11. After two minutes, Cassius realizes while cutting the bell pepper that he really can’t handle it and what is the perfect excuse to not have to talk too much with the Topper freak for the next 24 hours? Being sick. ‘I suddenly have soooo much stomach pain.“ Poor Cassius. Good luck, dude. With your dude.
12. The next shot of Jaidy naked and alone in the dark opening a bottle of wine I find quite sad.
13. The next day, Eva 2 shows up. Spontaneously, stallion Cassius feels WAY better. And in between, he makes a sharp comment. “You really have to have balls to participate in this program.” No shit.
14. Mermaid number 2 washes ashore, Iris. A really sweet girl, but also hilariously poorly chosen by the direction. The awkwardness level rises with the grain of sand.
15. Oh Iris, 2002 called. Can you please return that diamond on your teeth? STOP IT.
16. Did you think that the ‘you have to learn it on an old bike’ comment from Jantinus the Frisian roughneck from last week was a wrong comment? Think again. Cassius: “I think she just has a really beautiful personality.” BAM. KO…
17. How romantic by the way, that he’s whining that he misses his phone because it’s ‘really his baby‘. Something with a dried-up slug down under.
18. Then we move on to the date of Cassius and Iris. Fishing together on a raft and having intensely deep conversations. Alright, I am ready for a bit of depth. He: “Do you maybe have an exciting question for me?” She: “Yes, like your hobbies and stuff.” He: ……….. He: “And what was actually your motivation to participate?” She: “Definitely you. Since you became known with B-Brave, I have actually been interested in you. And this was my chance. I had to seize it.” He: …………….. (again shrunk two centimeters from the black tiger prawn)
19. Time for the last joint embarrassing evening date. The ladies have both taken a gift for Cassius from their ‘Love Bag’. One gives him a shell (“Then hopefully you’ll think of me at home too”) and the other a love horoscope (“I’m a Scorpio and you’re a Cancer and it says here that those two match very well.” He: “So uh, you did your research well, haha.” Did you see his eyes at that moment? #BANG #GROUPIECREEP)
20. Then Cassius comes out with a surprise from his bag for the ladies. And he really does it. An award from himself. They can touch it if they want. HA.HA.HA. I can’t take it anymore. Please let it be over quickly.
21. Time for the changing moment. You know, I’m not even going to complain about it anymore. Exactly as I expected. And even worse.
22. In the end, Mr. pulls a Inge de Bruijntje and gives the key to his heart to? Himself. This is really rejecting 2.0, you know.
23. How is it going with the disappointed fangirls? “Yeah, no, it’s his choice.” Goodness, it was fun again, this episode.
24. ….. (seventeen hours later all posters are pulled off the wall to be ritually burned)

Shall we laugh together? I think so. Because so much bizarre stuff happened, I made an XL version of points. And, love at first sight, did you write that with four or five zeros after the decimal?

NEXT WEEK: OMGOMGOMG, our Dutch Kim K. with a square injected butt washes up on the island. Just as a test: heart at the bottom of this article if you think those buttocks are the scariest thing you have ever seen. THE HORROR! We will definitely watch, of course, you understand that.