It just won't stop

Another dating trend to add to the neverending list

I thought recently that I had finally finished the whole list, when another email from May popped into my inbox. ‘Elke, do you know this one yet?’ I think being part of the singles club means you also have to regularly expand your vocabulary. The newest addition to my list: roaching.

Alright, time for an explanation. You meet someone you click with, you start dating, even regularly. You see each other so much that you’re practically a couple and then your love interest drops a bomb: he has someone else too. He didn’t think you were exclusive. So, roaching, an abbreviation of cockroach – exactly what he is. You know how it goes with real cockroaches: once there’s one, you know there are more around (in this case, other partners), so you won’t find a more fitting name for this dating trend.

Often the ‘roacher’ also tries to blame you for the situation by saying things like: ‘if you wanted us to be exclusive, you should have said so’ or: ‘I had no idea – we met on Tinder/Happn/Hater , so I assumed it was just something fun and casual’. Here, they are simply taking advantage of the fact that you haven’t had the DTR conversation (define the relationship) yet. The other sees it as a free pass to mess around with whoever they want. Fine if they want that, but at least have the decency to ask you how you feel about it.

The solution to prevent this is simple: talk to each other. Communicate. Then everything is clear for both sides and you can avoid potential heartache. Bye cockroach.