Jay-Z, we need to talk

Holy moly and there it was. The thunderclap. I wouldn't want to say it came out of nowhere, because we all knew after Beyoncé's album Lemonade that something was up. But now that it's so explicit, it suddenly feels so official. Jay-Z cheated on Beyoncé.

Of course we thought we already knew after his album 4:44, where he sang ‘I’ll fuck up a good thing. Let me alone, Becky’, but in an interview with The New York Times he now admits his mistake for the first time. “The hardest thing is to see pain on someone’s face that you caused. And then having to deal with yourself.” Help, he really says it. I suddenly see the clip of If I Were a Boy in my mind. Beyoncé as the jealous housewife, her husband the flirting police officer. I hear the song Jealous from 2013 through the speakers. I see the elevator incident again in my mind where Solange stands up for her sister and delivers a few sharp kicks to her brother-in-law. That was back in 2014, right, people? What has happened in the Carter family in the meantime, man?

It still echoes in my head. Jay-Z has been unfaithful to Beyoncé. Nothing makes sense in this sentence. I think of my mother who once bought a sandwich for a homeless man in France and how he then carelessly threw the sandwich on the ground. How unbelievable we found that. A kind of crazy ingratitude that makes you think: dude, you’re only hurting yourself here, right? That, Jay, I also feel a bit now. You got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one, remember? You have the queen bee, buddy. Why. Do. You. This?

According to Jay-Z, it all has to do with his past. He grew up in a rough neighborhood in Brooklyn and claims to have had quite a difficult childhood. Because of this, he developed the habit of ‘taking distance’ from emotions. “When it gets tough, you switch into survival mode. And what happens then? You shut off all your emotions, even with women. For me, that runs very deep. And that leads to all sorts of other things, like infidelity.” Aha, okay, now we know that.

Jay, first things first: a round of applause for finally being semi-open and honest. A small round of applause then. It can't be easy to just throw this out into the world. And thank god, everything seems to be back to normal between you and B, so who am I to really have an opinion on this? BUT DO YOU NEVER. EVER. WANT. TO. DO THIS AGAIN? Even I get restless from it. Oh and, if you happen to have trouble with a restless member next time, just to be sure, read this SOS Infidelity Action Plan.

You’re very welcome.