KIKI PANIEKIE: JUST A LITTLE MORE ABOUT THE BITCH CALLED PANIC ATTACK
Oh my goodness, it was not at all the intention for The Big Monster to visit this week. I was actually ‘done’ and we hadn't agreed on that at all. And yet, she suddenly stood next to my bed. In the middle of the night, no less. ’Joeheeee Kiki Paniekieeee, are you there? Let’s play a game.“ ”Please just go away, I want to sleep,“ was all I thought. But of course, my old enemy was not satisfied with that, and so we went together on the roller coaster. The whole night long... Damn. The next evening, she was next to my bed again. And there goes your week.
You see, panic attacks are a bitch. Luckily, I can say that it doesn't disrupt my daily life like it did a few years ago (just read this), but the fact remains that panic can suddenly come back. If I take on too much, get little sleep, or just don't feel quite right. This was such a week. I have been living out of moving boxes at my mom's for almost three months from moving boxes at mom's, I am constantly on the go with my suitcase and have done some ‘social’ thing almost every evening. Do you think that's weird, Kiki Paniekie? No, I don't think it's weird, but it is annoying.
Did you know that women are twice as likely to experience anxiety and panic symptoms than men?
Especially women under 35. And since I've received so many responses from you since my last revelation, I assume I'm not the only one here. Let's make it a cozy little chat club. Actually, I think it's time for some clarifying words about those panic attacks from someone who knows what they're talking about. Someone who has also struggled with panic attacks and now helps others get rid of them. You know what, I'm picking up the phone NOW and calling Mike Hoffmeister from paniekaanvalvrij.nl.
Mike, what the heck are panic attacks exactly?
“A panic attack is simply an extremely intense feeling of fear and panic, where people use their imagination to come up with doomsday scenarios like: “I'm going to die now” or “I'm going crazy now” or “I'm losing control, I'm going to faint, I can't take it anymore,” and so on.”
So I'm actually driving myself crazy with, uh, nothing?
“Look, it's very good that your body sounds alarm bells in some cases of danger. Only with people who have panic attacks, these are often unrealistic fears. But almost everyone with panic thinks they're ‘crazy‘ or the only one. You're not. If you have panic attacks, you're probably the hundred millionth. Welcome to the club. I don't know anyone else who has never had some personal problem; I see it as normal.’
How did it start for you?
“I had my first panic attack in the cinema. I was watching Casino Royale, a James Bond movie. He was poisoned and had a heart attack. In the music, you could hear his heart beating faster and faster. I had experienced palpitations before, and I was afraid my heart would give out too. Eventually, I walked out of the theater.
I had it for about two years, between 2007 and 2009.”
Is there still a taboo on it, do you think?
“Yes, but talking about your psychological and emotional problems is easier than it used to be. There are just so many misconceptions about it. Often, people think you're just being dramatic or that you should just get over it. I think that's the first thing everyone tries with anxiety symptoms, so that doesn't make sense.”
What kind of clients do you treat?
“In general, I help people with fears or panic. Fear of flying, fear of failure, fear of driving and fear of speaking, for example, but especially many people with panic attacks. I help children, seniors, bankers, entrepreneurs, models, students, scientists, firefighters, you name it. There's really nothing to indicate that only a certain type of people has problems.”
Do you think the ‘pressure’ from social media and especially the need to always be online plays a big role?
“I definitely don't think it helps you feel good. If it feels like a kind of compulsion to be online, that's just not pleasant. Moreover, it seems like you have to be a kind of perfect version of yourself. You know about your issues, but what about that other person you follow? Guess what, they have issues too, but you don't see that.”
How can you, at the moment you feel that things aren't going well, suppress an attack?
“The most important thing is to learn that a panic attack is completely harmless. Your brain thinks you're in life-threatening danger because the alarm bells of fear and panic are going off. It doesn't seem safe, but it is. Feel the emotions and sensations and say in your head: “Bring it on, friend! Give me your best shot!” Bet that the feeling will only lessen afterward? You've already felt the maximum adrenaline. After ten minutes of feeling like a fool, everything is okay again. Haha, I know it. Once you've done this a few times, your brain will learn that you don't have to be afraid of fear. You've overcome the fear of fear.”
Finally, I asked Mike for a list of his best tips to live panic attack-free through life:
1. Realize that you can handle all emotions and sensations. You were made for it.
2. You should NEVER try to suppress fear. Just accept it. Do you feel fear or panic? Then you say: “Hey monster, I was expecting you, come in, I have tea for you!”
3. Find out what you want. Do you know what you want? What needs do you have? What do you long for? How can you have a happy life if you don't even know what that means for you? Find it out!
4. If you can't do it alone, seek help. Go to someone who has proven to be able to help people with this. Read a book, take coaching or therapy, watch videos or do a workshop. Develop yourself into a stronger person.
What does he advise NOT to do?
1. Don't avoid situations or places where you've ever had a panic attack; you won't solve anything and your world will only get smaller.
2. Avoid medications. They don't solve anything. You just numb emotions with them. Make sure you learn to feel strong during a panic attack (“They're just emotions and sensations!” says Mike).
3. Don't think that you have to rest all the time. You don't need to rest for an hour if you've felt fear. If you've laughed hard or been very angry, you don't need to rest either.
4. Don't keep this to yourself. Tell your family or friends. Then you don't have to wear that mask that everything is fine anymore, and you can focus on developing yourself.
So ladies (and gentlemen, nice that you're reading along of course), I hope you find something useful in this article. I must say that I felt a lot calmer after my conversation with Mike. Sometimes just being able to talk openly about your panic feelings is enough to feel better. If you need more support, by the way, I would recommend zdownloading my free ebook on stopping panic attacks. Full of tips and tricks and a video series to quickly regain control over your life. Because you can do it, girlfriend. As long as you listen to your own body, are kind to yourself, and say no a little more often, everything will be fine. Go get them, tiger!
