My messed-up relationship with Ken
It's a small childhood trauma, but I didn't have a Ken. Oh, plenty of Barbies, where I created a Maldives resort on the floor of my bedroom with pink rose wallpaper and matching border (just so you know). Only there was no male equivalent for my lady. No matter how many times I put him on my wish list for Saint, grandpa and grandma, or Santa, I was completely Ken-less.
Now there is news in Barbieland. The man, whom I could never call mine, is getting a new look. The formerly beach lifeguard counterpart of B. comes in fifteen variants. I find it still sparse, because just take fifteen men, and hopefully there will be something appetizing for you among them. But Ken has been rocking the same hairstyle and blocky belly for fifty-six years, except for the Afro-American Ken and Earring Magic Ken (really, how did I miss that?), so I see progress here. He comes in three postures, seven shades of smooth, wrinkle-free skin, and with nine hairstyles. I find it soap opera exciting which male chubs and blocks get the honor of being attached to Ken.
“That wasp waist doesn't fit me at all”
Actually, I was just way ahead of Barbie creator Mattel. In the absence of a Ken, the creative child in me was tapped, leading to a wonderful solution. In 1990 to be exact. As a four-year-old humpty dumpty, I attacked my umpteenth Barbie with scissors, cut it all short, and accidentally got a Barbie that functioned as Ken with a grandpa band. If you now think: what the heck is a grandpa band? That is the receding hairline of the man that results in hair on the side of the head. You should know that Barbie's hair is mainly positioned on the side of the head and my cutting skills also left something to be desired. I pimped Barbie alias Ken with a masculine outfit and let me tell you, that led to situations. Barbie kissing, marrying, and having children with a Ken-Barbie including grandpa band. The Bold and the Beautiful was nothing compared to the scenarios I devised for my doll parade. So I was not only quickly into the men-loving-women, but also into the woman-woman relationship, the woman-becomes-man situation and the young-loves-older scene and vice versa.
Anyone who ever calls Mattel, Barbie, or Ken narrow-minded or far from the truth should therefore be put on the naughty bench. I suspect I became so open-minded by cutting up my Barbie, because I was just used to it. That certainly doesn't mean I warmly welcomed the version with a butt, because that wasp waist doesn't fit me at all. Oh, I can't wait for Ken with his chubs.
Source: BuzzE
