Talking about your ex(es) during a first date

And why you should do it

Shall we talk about all the taboo topics that people say you shouldn't discuss on your first date? Look, when it comes to chatting about marriage and how many kids you want to have right away, I get it. I mean: you just met. You want light conversations the first time you meet someone, but light doesn't necessarily mean you can't be personal. I mean: it's nice to quickly find out if Mr. Right is actually a Mr. Right Now? It can save you a lot of time – although I also believe it's good to date a lot to really find out what you're looking for (ugh, dating = confusing and hard).

But that mix of flirting with each other while also having substantive conversations only increases the attraction. And under the heading of substantive conversations, you can definitely talk about ex(es). Why not actually? As long as you don't make it the main topic of the evening, but hey, you can definitely say that your previous flame broke your heart. Or whether he did. So here we go, why it is allowed:

You don't waste time

Especially when you're older, you don't want to waste your time on men who have no future. You're looking for the one, and preferably as soon as possible. So screw all those taboos. You want to know what interests your date has, whether he's open-minded, funny, and you also want to know what he learned from previous relationships. The same opinion about everything isn't necessary (it's actually very boring if you ask me), then you'll find out faster whether you can have a discussion without arguing.

‘Under the heading of substantive conversations, you can definitely talk about ex(es).’

You test your humility and trust

If you're brave enough not to avoid taboo conversations, like conversations about old loves, then you'll quickly find out whether someone is humble or not, and whether they can be trusted. If someone reacts very defensively or hostile right away, you'll know pretty quickly that he's not the one for you. If you have someone with whom you can easily talk about ‘controversial’ topics, then they're confident.

Previous relationships must even be discussed

Alright, maybe you decide not to do it during your first date, but at least do it on date number two. I'm quite open about my previous relationships. That immediately gives a clear picture of who you are as a person, whether you're forgiving, and whether there are still signs of unresolved issues that might need to be processed before you (or your date) are really ready for something new.

Cut the bullshit

You just have a lot more fun when you, as we say in English: ‘not walking on eggshells’ and dare to make (almost) everything discussable. And who knows, before you know it, you might be able to celebrate these relationship milestones with your new guy.

Happy dating!

Source: Huffington Post