Tell me your hashtag and I'll tell you who you are
Hooray, it's a #happybirthday today. The hashtag is actually having a birthday. And I don't mean the little child that was given the name Hashtag by its parents (true story), but the loyal scribble to express yourself on social media. Our loyal toddler turns ten.
Now there have already been some irritations about the misuse of hashtags. We are writing ourselves a little accident about the creatures that can no longer or those that make us roll our eyes.
But tell me your hashtag and I'll tell you who you are, we hadn't had that one yet. Therefore, especially for this wildly wonderful holiday, a special about the hashtaggers in our lives.
The I-don't-get-it-type.
Okay, this one also belongs in the category of creatures-that-can-no-longer, but it is a true standalone type. These hashtaggers are lost in the depths of the net and if you accidentally click on something, then you are too. It goes a bit like this: Today #is #the #warmest #day #of #August #jippie #weatherporn (does this exist?) #sun #is #out. What I'm telling you; people who do this are all over the place. The hashtag should provide order, not this kind of nonsense. Ban that stuff.
The verbal hashtagger
He or she writes everything out. As in: “Here our hair was still so nicely curled, hashtag vanity.” And if the man posts this, then it is a hundred percent certain a vain person. But this is the elevated form of social media use. Probably there is an artistic person behind the account, who cannot find themselves in the common folk and empty hashtags of everyday life.
The business type
This social media guru (because that’s what it is) never posts frivolous hashtags, even if it may seem so. That scribble for ‘beach’ ensures ideal targeting (that's what they call it) and a tailored reach to the right audience. The business tagger does this even with their home, garden, and kitchen vacation photos. It’s in their 360 marketing-DNA and that cannot be beaten out.
The everything-together-danger
Hey, I'm here too. This is of course the coziest social media abuser. The hashtagger who never has enough space to say what they mean and still jokes and jests in the hashtags behind the story. This one talks for an hour in fifteen minutes and is the storyteller at heart and if necessary in kidneys.
The vain tagger
Do you remember when I turned thirty? Well, I do. If I were to fall under the vain hashtaggers, then I would go for this festive day of your #Happy30Adeline or #AdelineAndTheBig30. But I am not the king or queen, I am not a festival, I am not a once in a lifetime experience (or well, at least I think so), I am not a wedding and therefore a customized hashtag is completely unnecessary. We call these the grand hashtaggers and then in the vein of pride and madness. Those, yes.
The vain tagger 2.0
If you use your name as a hashtag. I don't know, but this reeks of narcissism, self-glorification and is just not that relevant.
The non-hashtagger
Did I just talk about verbal? Well, this piece of work doesn't even need a hashtag. Just out of laziness or because they are so well-known, infamous and loved on social that they don't need it. Actually, this is the type you always look at with a bit of admiration, because either they give zero fucks about that thing or you've made it.
Hashtag Happy Birthday!
