The biggest cock frighteners

Well. You are known here in the editorial office as someone who speaks their mind or not. So today we are going to talk about cock blockers, or things that are so monstrously unsexy that your bed partner spontaneously gets limp. Here they come.

Toilet paper in your flamoes

Pretending to be innocent can no longer be done, EVERY woman knows what I'm talking about now. You might chuckle about it together, but secretly he will really think: hmmm. Chill is different.

Childish shit

I wore a Hello Kitty bathrobe for years. Maybe the little one inside you thinks somewhere: but that's cute, right? No. It's a cock blocker, do you hear me? Just like onesies. Sorry buddies, we need to draw a line somewhere. Fine if you're twelve, halfway through your twenties/thirties, not so much. Then just invest in a nice silk outfit. That’s a cock sucker. Yeah, I'm going to rinse my mouth after this piece.

The Ta Ta Towel

HAHAHA. It was definitely the worst news of this week: the arrival of this monstrosity. A towel fabric elastic thing that you ‘hang’ around your tits, as a perfect solution for tit sweat. I actually want to order it as a joke.

Being a starfish in bed

A.k.a. the rag doll. Where you lie on your back in bed with your legs and arms spread wide and the other person does all the work. Totally fine if you're tired for once, but too often starfish? Watch out for the cock blocker alert.

Shapewear

Maybe a good idea under that tight dress because no awful fat rolls on the left and right, but at home? A really bad cock blocker. Just hide those things, no guy gets happy from them.

Nude underwear

See eh, previous point. It might come in handy, but NOT in the bedroom, okay? The same goes for pantyhose. Men don’t get it. They find it scary.

Insecurity

“Ooooh, I really don’t feel pretty today, sorry, can you turn off the light?” Mentioned by almost all men as the biggest turn-off in bed: putting yourself down.

The harem pants

So you barely have sex? Weird, huh, when you’re like Aladdin wandering through the house with the flying poop catcher. Put that comfy shapeless pants with the crotch up to your knee back in the closet very quickly.

And everything else...

Playing George in the jungle between your legs for example. Men don’t find that such a great plan, a wild front yard. Just like unkempt nails. Farting, constantly yawning, often getting the giggles in bed (I’m not making this up, I called three men!), wearing worn-out old T-shirts as pajamas with holes in them and dirty slippers. Just so you know.

So: on to a blazing, sexy sex life? Skip the cock blockers from your life. Amen.

Source image: Pinterest