Happy & Healthy
THIS IS HOW YOU SURVIVE YOUR FIRST DAY AT YOUR NEW JOB
My blessed self had been wandering around at Amayzine for a few months before I came in full-time. But I still feel the wobbly knees when I think of day one. I was an hour and a half early because they have ultra-relaxed times at Amayzine (half past nine, can you believe it?). My makeup was rust-proof on a primer because nothing was allowed to slide. And in the car, I imagined myself a hundred times to all your lovely editors. ‘Haaaaai, Adeline’ and ‘Adeline, nice to meet you’ or maybe ‘Ha, I'm Adeline’. It all sounded just as silly as I'm writing it now, yes. But I came, I saw, and I went ka-pot home (without going to the bathroom for the first three hours). Guys, what an awesome day. This is what you do if you want to own your first workday.
Do: sleep
But really: dive into bed ultra-early. A wise saying from my mother: if you don't sleep, then you don't rest. When you're well-rested, you absorb so much more in that head of yours. And what about company bags under your eyes? You don't want that, you don't want that. To bed, to bed, said Thumbelina.
Don’t: business in the smallest room
Go to the bathroom at home, even if nothing comes out. Just sit on that pot for half an hour. You want NO WAY number two on your first day, because there's a hundred percent chance your boss is in line to plant their derrière on the seat after you. And then just a little pee feels more comfortable.
Do: deodorant away
Throw your refresh spray in your bag because the sweat is guaranteed to break out before you even cross the threshold. Brush through your hair, check your makeup (also with primer), and is your skirt not stuck in your pantyhose? Man, what a grand entrance you would make, I tell you. Your new colleagues will form a judgment in the first seven seconds and then only look for confirmation. Just so you know. And you don't want that confirmation to have anything to do with a hint of sweat or a skirt and pantyhose.
“Okay, and now you're going to kick ass on that first day.”
Do: arrive early
Okay, an hour and a half early is a little bit exaggerated. But make sure you have plenty of time to sit in traffic or miss the train, discover the best coffee corner in the area, and touch up your powder fifty times (and no exaggerated practices please). And practicing your speech out loud in front of a mirror is also okay.
Don’t: early birds
He who laughs last, but literally. You stay seated until they send you home out of desperation. Are you collapsing at five o'clock from all the information? Too bad. Ha, tonight you can crash on the couch. Just hold on a little longer, partner, you can do it.
Do: be prepared
Get your stalking practices out of the closet, business-wise, okay? You don't have to rattle off all the names of your boss's kids. Just knowing them is enough, but keep that inside information to yourself. Read everything you can find, dive into it, in it, and under it. You want to breathe that new workplace before you start. And blow them away with quirky brainwaves because you weren't hired for nothing.
Don’t: know-it-all
Oh, boy... This is a word. Says enough, right? Be nice and tease them, but save that flat joke for the vino at the end of the week.
Okay, and now you're going to kick ass on that first day. Agreed?
