This is what you discover about him (or her) when you live together

“Is it four or five years now?” I get acute amnesia when I have to say how long my love and I live together. It was also a bit of a gray area, because he spent the year leading up to the big step regularly at my place or I at his. And maybe I was already wandering around the house for a few months before we made it official. But on Sunday I got the answer, in the form of my messy administration. I found a registration slip from the municipality. Five years, it is.
Suddenly you’re twenty-four-seven in each other’s space. He discovered that I have a missing gene when it comes to cleaning. I found out that he puts his shirt in the wash inside out (grrr, I find that so annoying). He gets annoyed by the envelopes that I toss in a pile without a care. And I got acquainted with the morning mood, hello. Are you going to live together? Be prepared…

Shampoo issues

When your shampoo is about to run out, you buy new. No mister, you don’t dilute it with water. How the hell do you get that idea? This really happens.

Frugal with food

That you have a completely different food philosophy than he does. I throw away everything that is about to expire in the trash. Yes, I should be ashamed. But I’m terrified of the big VV: food poisoning (and he thinks that’s weird).

He/she is not an occasional snorer

When you’re going to share the front door, you’ve probably spent a few nights together already. Back then he could still brush that snore away with one drink too many, but now you discover that it’s not because of that drink. Chronic snorer in the house.

Shopping list

You are team Duo Penotti, he is team Nutella. You thrive on a Douwe Egberts in the morning, he is okay with the store brand. Yes, it’s a thing, that shopping list.

Money on gadgets

A clock with beeps here, a wireless speaker there, and a supersonic accelerating and enhancing internet gadget. You knew he was a bit of a gadget geek, but now you see how many euros he spends on that nonsense. One piece of advice: don’t say anything about it, because then you can nicely get the Gucci belt.

Sex clock

Okay, living together gives options in bed. A morning quickie, an after-work rendezvous, or just lounging in the evening. But now he suddenly has a different sex rhythm than you. You’re lying there in the evening snoring like a bear, and he wants to get it on. And when you’re hanging in the lamps in the morning, he’s in a mood. The struggle is real.

Guilty pleasures

Sneaky television. That you thought you had a rare Studio Sport-less specimen, but it turns out to be one big lie. He just always watched it on Uitzending Gemist, the deception.

Little heart

This is sweet. That he or she often calls family to check how they are doing. And you didn’t know that. Sigh, the sweetheart.