Christmas without mandatory songs?

I am blessed with a relaxed family in general, but especially when it comes to filling in the Christmas days. My parents are with us so often that we have already had enough of our dinners around the tree, and my father-in-law treats our family to a visit to the Christmas circus in Carré, which we then cross off against the Christmas dinner. Because the pressure and the sacredness must be off, I even heard myself spontaneously say recently that we are having a family dinner on Boxing Day. And I am looking forward to it too.

That is not the case for most girls here in the office. Many have divorced parents and boyfriends with divorced parents, so you wade through those days. A snack here, a sip there, and then the fun quickly fades. Soon the starting signal for the which-parent-wins-the-first-Christmas-day-fight will be fired. So if you don't feel like that, it's important to act quickly.

1. Take the lead

If you wait for them to call and then say you have other plans, it is incredibly rude. Get ahead of them and act a little quickly. This also shows that you take it seriously.

2. Call, don't email

I always find calling about issues that might be sensitive much better than emailing. By the way, this is the email that really drives me up the irritation zone. An email can be interpreted completely differently. Now you can nuance something if you notice that the other person is not responding well. Moreover, you immediately know what the other side thinks of your idea. Otherwise, you keep clicking open that inbox in the hope of an answer.

3. Come up with a good story

Tell how the Christmas days are for you. How busy you are at work in the last month of the year, how much is still expected of you at school, and describe what your Christmas schedule looks like. Maybe lunch with you is the only ‘outing’ for your mother-in-law, and she has no idea how busy you are otherwise. Mention things that have made you decide to do it differently this year. The best for the other person is if you are really away, even physically. You are going to celebrate it in Lapland, with friends. Watch out for the looming ‘then-we'll-join-in-too’ danger. Make sure your story is completely watertight. Say that you are going with a group of friends, or just on a surprise me trip so that you have no idea where the trip will lead, so that once you are there, an unexpected extra surprise will not be waiting for you...

4. Keep it light

I once told my father-in-law that if he and his wife were not really looking forward to it, they would not hurt us by skipping the traditional Christmas lunch. This turned it around and disguised my wish as a so-called good deed. Ha. Because that can also be the case, that no one is really looking forward to it, but that you do it all because you have been doing it this way for all those years.

5. Come on, come on

And call right away tonight. Life is too short to bite into those stuffed eggs every Christmas against your will. If they get angry, throw in the old peace on earth, because that is the most important Christmas thought.