This is according to science why we can handle our losses so poorly

Imagine you receive a Gucci bag. A gift. Just like that. At first, you didn't have it, and now it suddenly hangs cheerfully on your arm.

You didn't have to do anything for it, you didn't spend a single euro on it and it didn't cost you any energy. Then you're happy, right? Yes, very happy. And then... You lose that free Gucci. It's long gone again; something you didn't have before is now gone again. You think you're the same as before. At first, you were perfectly happy without a bag. Then you had it, now you don't. So you're just happy again, right? No. After loss, you feel deeply and profoundly miserable. In psychology, we talk about loss aversion. It has been proven that losing something is worse than ‘winning‘ something’ makes you happy.

It turns out that we worry more about losing something or having to miss something than we have the ambition to gain something and win. In fact, losing a hundred euros makes you relatively sadder than gaining two hundred euros makes you happy. Yes, think about it. That's how it works.

Also with games, where you can lose or win. You feel worse about a loss than you are happy when you win against your fellow players. Monopoly? Not a good idea in my house. After three and a half hours of playing, filled with anger and a dose of swear words, I throw that whole board across the room, just watch. I HAD BLAAK AL well potverdegodverallechristus #!%*!#($!()!. Why do we worry so much about that loss? According to science, it's because we make the game bigger than it is. There are always more things at play for everyone. Suddenly you see annoying traits of your fellow players, you think they already have enough in life and you don't, and they always have all the luck and they have that Gucci bag and that big house and that well-paid job. So no, you don't even want to give them half Station Zuid or an extra trip past Start.

What you haven't had, you can't lose either, they sometimes sing in those excellent Dutch classics, right? That's exactly it. What you didn't have before but suddenly got, like winning something, makes you happy, but not that much, actually. Because what you don't have, you can't lose. And losing something, that chance of winning something, hurts. This applies to both games and possessions.

Just stop talking about that pearl of a Dolce & Gab sunglasses. Gone after one week of use. My entire weekend bag full of clothes that accidentally stayed on the sidewalk in Amsterdam? With a junkie. My boyfriend's wallet. Try explaining that. No, please, just give me that whole Rotterdam street. Just this once. I need it.

FACTS

• 12% of all Dutch people have never gambled
• In the Netherlands, 79,000 people are addicted to gambling
• On average, people spend 110 euros on gambling

Image: Jed Villejo via Unsplash