We talk in 60% about the conversations about ourselves

We chat a lot with each other and talk each other's ears off. Cozy, you might think. But no. Actually, we mainly talk about ourselves in conversations.

That we humans are social beings is true, but we are also unconsciously very fond of our own ups and downs. In conversations in 60%, we talk about ourselves more than half the time. At least, if there is an opportunity for it, because if your conversation partner also adheres to this, then it doesn't fit. On social media, we even talk in 80% of the cases about our own lives. There is a logical reason for that: it makes us happy.

Researchers saw in the brains of the participants that the dopamine system was activated when people talked about their own children, own work, or own relationship. This gives you a happy feeling, comparable to what you get when you use cocaine, have sex or are enjoying a meal. It is a form of intrinsic reward: you don't really notice it, but unconsciously it makes you happy. That's why you just want more. If you've already told a friend about how your vacation was in a conversation, then you also really want to share how the night out last weekend went. Even when we notice that others don't find our story particularly interesting, we keep chatting. In the remaining 40%, we talk about the weather, politics, world peace. Something like that.

The logical advantage of talking about yourself is that you can get tips from the person opposite you, which inspires you more. Often you also talk with friends to vent about what you experience, day in day out. And there is also a kinder reason, because sometimes you help others with your experiences. If you feel good because you took an extra day off this month, well, who knows what your buddy has gained from that advice.

Small tip: do look for a nice balance in a conversation. It's much more pleasant for the other person. For example, pay attention to how often you hear yourself say ‘I’. It can be perfectly fine to say it about six times in a row, but then it might be time for a question to your conversation partner. Six times, guys. Keep on counting.

FACTS

• Someone who looks further down than your nose during a conversation is very interested in you.
• Someone who touches their neck during a conversation feels uncomfortable.
• Someone who laughs with closed lips has a secret or is hiding something.

Source: Bedrock