You can eat pizza with kale and sausage later

Since I got pregnant, I prefer to eat only two things: cornflakes with milk and stamppot. There are unhealthier cravings, so I gladly accept it.

The rest of the food that exists in this world, and there is quite a lot, makes me nauseous. Hormones. I get nauseous from it. A little chicken soup goes down well, a sandwich with cheese too, but further? Dinner like meat with vegetables and potatoes? Pasta? Salad? I can't even think about it. A bit uncomfortable for my dining companions, but oh well, it is what it is. The news from this Monday makes me feel quite green. Because what exists now? Pizza with kale and sausage. This is no joke. This is happening. In our world.

The idea behind the guilty pizza chain? Nice for the cold winter months. ‘After a cold winter day, there’s nothing better than sitting down at home with a steaming plate of traditional Dutch stamppot. Made according to grandmother's recipe.’ But just a little different. Joe. Jottem. This is what we were waiting for. A bit of kale spread over the pizza dough and thin slices of smoked sausage.

Fortunately, it can get worse. Or crazier. Or dirtier.

• There are also stamppot croquettes
• A fries with kale
• Sauerkraut pizza
• Peanut butter on your pizza
• Frikandel with mayo and disco dip (oh yes, the disco dip, that's what it's called)
• Split pea soup croquettes
• The Simon pizza (a Turkish pizza with double cheese soufflé)
• Fries with gingerbread

Three words: ‘No, thank you.’