If I lived a day in Riverdale

“Our story is about a town, a small town, and the people who live in the town. From a distance, it presents itself like so many other small towns all over the world: safe, decent, innocent. Get closer, though, and you start seeing the shadows underneath. The name of our town is Riverdale.” If you are a bit of a fan or a loyal viewer, these words will certainly sound familiar to you. These were actually the very first lines with which it all began: Riverdale. Narrator Jughead Jones has since managed to bring every episode as dramatically as possible what is going on in the always exciting Riverdale.

I haven't been a high school student for quite some time now, but honestly: the Riverdale residents can't really do it anymore either. So just like them, I pretend for a day and immerse myself in the world called Riverdale. We are now in season 3, so by now I know this village almost as well as my own neighborhood. Time for A Day In The Life Of Riverdale.

We start in the morning at, how could it be otherwise: Pop’s. No healthy granola or oatmeal, no – we start with a super sweet milkshake. Archie takes a root beer float, since he was attacked by a bear and has lived in the woods, he is a ‘changed man‘ and has given up milkshakes. We are a bit in a hurry: after this we have to go to the auditions for the Vixens. If I’m here for a day, it’s definitely not complete without being roasted by Cheryl for my cheerleading moves.

Being a cheerleader is clearly not meant for me, so on to the next mission: becoming a Serpent Queen, just like Betty. Since the Fantastic Four from Riverdale all seem to have only an hour of school a day, I happily join in. On to Jughead's trailer and FP then. Admit it: who wouldn't want such a leather jacket? Toni and Cheryl's new gang is cleverly thought out, but the Pretty Poisons can never compete with the Serpents.

At today's Serpents meeting, Jughead sits on the throne and for the occasion, Archie plays guitar and Josie sings a melodramatic song in the background (in other words, the newest it-couple of Riverdale – and also the only girl in Riverdale that Archie hasn't yet seduced). In true Archie style, he does this without a shirt, that's how we know him best of course. And it's my day in Riverdale, so I get to decide what happens today.

Time for the afternoon program: playing Griffins & Gargoyles. I want to know what all the fuss is about, so bring it on. And then we play it together with the people from The Farm, around a table with gigantic glasses of milk. I don't like milk, but it does complete the setting. Nothing too crazy for Riverdale. Meanwhile, I take the opportunity to grill the residents. Say Betty, where is Polly's twin? When will Edgar Evernever finally come into the picture? What is actually the goal of this game? How can you all still be successful in school? How is the underground Fight Club in prison doing? As expected, I unfortunately end up without answers but luckily alive and without blue lips. Score.

Then on to the conclusion. And where else than at Veronica's speakeasy, La Bonne Nuit? I'm not entirely clear whether they serve alcohol here or not, but after this day, I could use some. And of course, I sit down with Hiram for a game of poker – after all, it’s also a casino nowadays. Ending the evening with a toast with a cocktail and a Royal Flush, you can't get much better than that. Here too, the entertainment is provided by Josie, and as a final farewell, Betty and Veronica join in. I do have a passion for karaoke, but the talent is a lot less, so I hide in the audience.

The whole day ends a bit sadly: just a minute of silence for Fred Andrews. The only nice, sensible, and incredibly sweet father (FP is a good second place) in Riverdale. We are going to miss him a lot. And do you think: did I skip Thistlehouse? That's right, that whole house gives me quite the creeps. I don't understand how Cheryl can still live there. And then that creepy grandma, brr. Not for me.

Written by: Wieke Veenboer