Turn-off in bed: when the dirty talk suddenly becomes disgusting
Sorry that we've been quite often the we-are-not-naming-names party lately, but you should know that the most shameless sex topics flew around the table last week. For example, May told a story about someone who suddenly got called ‘horny shrimp’ in bed. Horny shrimp, we are not making this up. I would laugh so hard that that turn would become impossible.
What is it with lovers who suddenly think it's a good idea to spout filthy things during sex? One of my dearest friends spontaneously had a giggling fit when her boyfriend suddenly surprised her in bed with a ‘You like that, huh, my horny little slut. Horny whore.’ HAHAHA.
Honestly, it takes courage to be that vulnerable, but there’s a fine line between sexy dirty talk and whispering in your ear that makes you feel nauseous and awkward. Just a refresher course: this you do and this you don't.
Do: have confidence
Dirty talk is actually more about your attitude than what you actually say. If you're on fire, you can even make ‘Honey, do you like paprika?‘ sound sexy. And yes, you're now testing in your head how that would sound. Hey, it's okay.
Don’t: say things you wouldn't want to hear yourself
Don't start saying things under pressure that you don't stand behind. Dirty talking might be a bit of a misnomer, because it doesn't have to be crude if that's not your thing. It can also be very subtle and sensual.
Do: name what you feel
No idea what to say then? Go for the basics. Just see it as giving your partner an ‘update’ on your arousal. Name what you like, whether he/she is doing well, and when you think you’re about to climax. Dirty talk has never been this simple.
Don’t: and yes, this one is for the men among us: be disrespectful to women
Many women do not like being called a slut or being referred to as dirty. That can be a real mood killer. Or as friend X comprehensively describes: that gives us a dry vagina. There.
Do: learn the art of dirty talk with one word
Things like ‘yes’, ‘faster’, ’harder‘ or ’more' are the verbal equivalent of a moan. With these mini-guidelines, you let your bed partner know what works. Oh, and nice to grab right away: this is how you become irresistible in bed.
Nice eh, Sunday huh. Grab them.
