Is it smart to always be honest with your partner?

Always say what you think honestly. Is it detrimental or the secret formula of a relationship? We have heard that this lasts the longest, but is that also true when it comes to the duration of relationships? No, experts say.

A little white lie for the best of intentions: for some it comes easily, while others start stuttering at the mere thought of it. Yet, in a relationship, it can sometimes be better for the mood not to say everything. It seems that people distort the information given ten to thirty percent of the time. Why? It's simple. You want to come across as nicer, you don't want a big fight, you try to hide a small mistake, you want the other person to feel good. And voilà, you say that it's not a big deal that the pasta is uncooked on the counter, while you actually think it is.

In research, women indicate that they lie the most to spare someone else's feelings. Men do it to avoid hassle or to prevent hassle. According to Happinez, this is almost the same, because if you don't spare feelings, you end up with hassle. So, humans actually have the same motivation.

It is, of course, noble to always want to speak the truth. But what if that means you constantly have to notice things that you find quite annoying? The laundry basket is too full, the food isn't tasty, you bought the wrong bread at the bakery, you drank just a bit too much at a party. It doesn't make the other person more pleasant and certainly not yourself.

Not always saying what you think seems to be a mechanism in a relationship that makes things run smoother. Because what would you do if your partner is constantly nitpicking at you? Honestly, it feels that way quickly. Relationship expert Slabbinck tells HNL that it's good to ask yourself whether saying something adds value. If it doesn't, then it's perfectly fine to keep that little bit of information to yourself.

So it seems that not always being honest to spare feelings actually works in a relationship. Until, of course, you become the soft healer, or a pathological liar. But then you still have body language to fall back on.

Sources: Happinez, Wel.nl, HNL.be