Kiki's Expedition Robinson Brabbels: Holland vs Belgium

Seuu de jeuuu. Allememaggies. Potverrepielekes. Holy guacamolies. Fuckerdeducksols. Belgos de flashos. The time of camaraderie and BFF clittings among the Belgians is no more. The camp members throw their principles in the trash, take an extra dose of guilt and sharpen their knives. Ready for an island council from hell?

1. First of all, spankings for myself for leaving you for two weeks. Got a hand grenade through the mailbox (I suspect Koen), rolls of toilet paper were thrown in my backyard (thanks, they are scarce these days) and vague angry voice memos with soft Geeee in my inbox, but really: mama is back at the camp. Don't leave you behind anymore.

2. Nelleke, just a small correction for you. People, it's hard to believe. The woman CANNOT give any silicone tit hugs because everything she wears in front is given by mother earth. ‘Runs in the family’, she sends me via Insta Stories. I guess some women just have it all… Tssss.

3. Nielsje with a high voice: ’I am a work ant’
is that the Flemish word for workhorse?
Sounds a lot more restrained right away.
Honestly. Only Flemish people manage to make workhorse (suddenly sounds like work PIG) sound vulgar.
Thanks again.

4. I think Nelleke doesn't quite know what a clean slate means.
Nelleke: lovely, a clean slate… Sigh…
Nelleke 1 second later: ‘I can finally get back at people who kicked me out!’

5. For everyone with serious nail problems since the closing of the sea salon of Roy Donders and Kim Kötter: from now on you can go to steward Kevin. Specialization; french sea manicure with a mourning edge. Does it cost? 24.95, salon on the Fillipinos. Huphup.

6. HOW CHILL! On the balance beam two favorites! On the left side we have Welcome-to-Nellieville-cat-with-9-lives-and-real-boobs and on the right side Jorik-aka-Shaun-White-The-Snowboarder-aka-kung-fu-karate-kid. Whoever wins: I don’t care, I wish them both well.

7. I don't know what they are doing there being so disappointed, but toothbrush and shampoo over food any day, come on doorrrrr.

8. Nelleke looking Ruth straight in the face with a kind of stoned look = life.

9. Omg, I feel so sorry all of a sudden for Niels. This is heartbreaking. Thomas the Neanderthal with his cryptic apology at the beginning. Niels looking ahead with beady eyes and still not realizing anything and Koen going from ‘huh, what?’ to a kind of half panic attack on that couch.

10. Oh no. It gets much worse. His little tear. How he straightens his back afterwards. And says that he wouldn't have done it any differently, but just finds it very unfortunate. That he is proud that they see him as a strong player. Oh no. The way Niels handles it: A TRUE GENTLEMAN…

P.S.. Heart at the bottom if you are spontaneously a member of the Niels fan club but now it's too late. #Itstoolaatetoapologiiiiiize. It's too laaaaaaate.

OH NO.

P.P.S. Double heart if you can't wait for the fight between Thomas and Koen and all the mess and misery on that island because it's clear that a BOMB will explode next week WOEEEEEEEEIII.