Is this the one?

Sunday is Valentine's Day. Before you bite the bullet on some beautiful prose to sing your love or spend your hard-earned money on a nice gift, it might be handy to go through this checklist. Because if it really is the one, you should be able to answer at least two-thirds of this checklist with a ‘yes’.

1. You don't think before you text
Could you spend hours in other relationships turning your phone around to stretch the moment of texting as long as possible, taking screenshots of his/her message, typing your response first in notes so the other person wouldn't see how long you were busy crafting a well-formulated answer, and then pasting it all at once in the app, in this case, you text whenever you want. Without hidden agendas and raised walls.

2. You call each other at the same time
We still do. That you are both on the phone and thus both in conversation. And that time and time again. We still haven't made any agreements after almost twenty years about who should hang up first. Just because we find it nice.

3. You dare to pee while the other is present
On the toilet, but also outside while you're squatting between two car doors.

4. Your partner calls your mother
Just for the fun of it. They like each other because they both like you. Your love also calls your mother when he/she is worried about you.

5. You have vomited while your beloved is present
As in: throwing up hard. Due to alcohol or food poisoning, but in any case, you were seen in a bad state and still loved and liked afterward.

6. You can be grumpy without it having consequences
Your partner knows you a bit by now, knows it's not about him/her, and lets it blow over. Or your love calls your mother, see point 4.

7. Your partner does really sweet things unsolicited
For example, my beloved once chose a completely different route to drive to Italy because I don't like tunnels. He didn't tell me, but I found it incredibly sweet.

8. Your partner makes playlists that you can listen to at the same time
Playlists are the cassette tapes of now. Collecting your favorite songs for the other: the pinnacle of romance.

9. Your partner always answers his/her phone when you're around
No hidden agendas for your love, this one is just for you and has no secrets.

10. You know the login for his/her phone
Not that you do anything with it, but still.

11. You never have a discussion about money
One time you pay, then he does. Whoever has the most pays the most, but you don't make any further agreements about that. It goes fluidly and in good faith, just like your relationship. Yes, you do handle the serious matters of life, but the dining and drinking part just goes smoothly.